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Post by ginny on Apr 30, 2022 20:40:07 GMT
I have come across something that really made me feel uneasy:
One of my penpals (we met via InCoWriMo) posted on Instagram that she'll fix a disclaimer to her letters in the future, pointing out that letters are personal and for her penpals' eyes only and that she doesn't want people to post pictures of her letters (not the envelopes, the actual letters) on social media. Apparently, she has seen photos of her letters on people's Instagram grids, and I can certainly understand that this has made her angry. She says she writes about personal things in her letters and doesn't want others - except her penpals / friends - to read her words.
Now, I totally agree with her. I wouldn't like that, either. I think I would cut the contact immediately - this is a breach of trust in my eyes that cannot be mended. What do you think?
I just wonder why people would post a pic of a personal letter on the net? Has that ever happened to you?
I'll be interested to hear opinions / experiences regarding this topic.
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Post by sunshine2170 on Apr 30, 2022 20:56:44 GMT
No never - not that I have found anyway. Definitely a privacy issue and I would also delete that person from my life. Why would anyone post the contents of a letter, post your own if you want, not someone elses. I can understand posting the envelope because its gorgeously decorated and redacting the address - but the letter?
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Post by davidv on May 1, 2022 0:40:12 GMT
Yeah, I really wouldn’t like that either. When I write my letters, I’m assuming pen pals may choose to share details with their household, and that’s fine with me. Depending on the topic, it even adds to the interest if they can discuss that their spouse thought this or that about a topic for example.
Broadcasting online is another matter. It’s not so much that I’d be worried about the world knowing my thoughts (at least most of the time), it just feels like a bad social signal. Like someone isn’t really looking for the same things out of a letter exchange that I am. It’s a bit like when you get a strange vibe from someone in person.
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Post by ginny on May 1, 2022 13:32:18 GMT
Yeah, I really wouldn’t like that either. When I write my letters, I’m assuming pen pals may choose to share details with their household, and that’s fine with me. Depending on the topic, it even adds to the interest if they can discuss that their spouse thought this or that about a topic for example. Broadcasting online is another matter. It’s not so much that I’d be worried about the world knowing my thoughts (at least most of the time), it just feels like a bad social signal. Like someone isn’t really looking for the same things out of a letter exchange that I am. It’s a bit like when you get a strange vibe from someone in person. I agree with you on the sharing details with people's household - I kind of assume this is happening, and that's OK. I think I wouldn't be worried so much about the world knowing my thoughts much of the time, either, but imagine you write about a health issue in your letter or about something that you really struggle with, and you find that online later on? Yuck. I don't like that idea. As you say, that conveys a very strange vibe and it's definitely a bad social signal...
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escorpio
Pencils
Posts: 93
Looking for Penpals?: Perhaps. It depends...
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Post by escorpio on May 2, 2022 12:57:52 GMT
This would be the same as having a conversation with a friend and then detailing it on social media. Not OK in my book! I've seen some people blur out the text if wanting to showcase the stationery.
On a side note, I always find it weird when people post a picture of their latest mail out "XXX, it's for you, don't look if you want to keep the surprise!" Why not wait for the letter to find its recipient? I would in a way feel as if getting likes on IG would be more important, than giving me, their friend, the letter for myself first. Then again, I am more into the words of a letter than the looks of it.
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Post by eefa on May 2, 2022 16:08:52 GMT
Agree with what's been said here. I can't imagine why anybody would post the contents of a letter from somebody else to them on social media. Such an odd concept to me that anybody would do that. I'd be pretty upset if somebody posted a letter that I wrote on Insta or elsewhere no matter how innocent the content might be.
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Post by ginny on May 2, 2022 16:31:07 GMT
This would be the same as having a conversation with a friend and then detailing it on social media. Not OK in my book! I've seen some people blur out the text if wanting to showcase the stationery. On a side note, I always find it weird when people post a picture of their latest mail out "XXX, it's for you, don't look if you want to keep the surprise!" Why not wait for the letter to find its recipient? I would in a way feel as if getting likes on IG would be more important, than giving me, their friend, the letter for myself first. Then again, I am more into the words of a letter than the looks of it. My pet peeve is when people show their incoming and outgoing letters and then come up with a post in the vein of 'so good to sit down and write a letter to my dear friend xyz' (tagging the person in their caption so everyone can see who it is) full and well knowing that abc and whatstheirname have been waiting for a letter for much longer already. When you use Insta as some sort of 'record' you have to be aware that your penpals might wonder when it's their turn to receive a letter and that they will perhaps get a bit miffed that xyz gets a 'preferred treatment', if you know what I mean.
Having said this - I know very well that each and every friendship is different, and with some people you have a quick turnover of letters while you take longer to write to others - for whatever reason. But I think it's bad manners to go into that on social media. Maybe I'm weird there, though
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Post by sunshine2170 on May 2, 2022 22:19:37 GMT
My pet peeve is when people show their incoming and outgoing letters and then come up with a post in the vein of 'so good to sit down and write a letter to my dear friend xyz' (tagging the person in their caption so everyone can see who it is) full and well knowing that abc and whatstheirname have been waiting for a letter for much longer already. When you use Insta as some sort of 'record' you have to be aware that your penpals might wonder when it's their turn to receive a letter and that they will perhaps get a bit miffed that xyz gets a 'preferred treatment', if you know what I mean.
Having said this - I know very well that each and every friendship is different, and with some people you have a quick turnover of letters while you take longer to write to others - for whatever reason. But I think it's bad manners to go into that on social media. Maybe I'm weird there, though I was going to say exactly that, that you open a letter and you want to reply straight away and finish the reply in record time, then you can "sit" on others and wrack your brains on what to say or what to tell. Happens to me all the time
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Post by allanorn on May 4, 2022 19:54:39 GMT
This would be the same as having a conversation with a friend and then detailing it on social media. Not OK in my book! I've seen some people blur out the text if wanting to showcase the stationery. On a side note, I always find it weird when people post a picture of their latest mail out "XXX, it's for you, don't look if you want to keep the surprise!" Why not wait for the letter to find its recipient? I would in a way feel as if getting likes on IG would be more important, than giving me, their friend, the letter for myself first. Then again, I am more into the words of a letter than the looks of it. Yeah - that's why on social media any outgoing letters or postcards get tagged after a month or so, if at all. Incoming rarely gets tagged in public, but I will send a picture to the writer as a receipt that I've received it.
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Post by Mia on May 4, 2022 21:31:57 GMT
While it may be quite nice to see the various handwriting styles in letters, it is up to the writer/sender whether they share their own address (say, envelopes of incoming mail), but usually not OK to show the other person's address.
As for the contents, I do use my discretion and may show sections of the letter to certain family members/friends, e.g. a penpal has asked after a friend/family member or said something about a hobby a friend/family member is interested in, and I've shown that paragraph, but nothing sensitive.
However, that is different to sharing online. I had thought about showing off handwriting styles in letters I've received but would limit that only to the date, dear/hello Mia, and maybe the thank you, and maybe non-word things such as little pictures of the weather (nothing directly identifiable about the sender). I've had a quick browse of the incomingmail hashtag - see the beginning snippet of someone's received letter, with greeting/salutation, and hope that her seeds are growing strong by now. I'm not sure I would object to just that being shown, by either the sender or receiver. I do sometimes show off the start of a letter I'm writing, without identifying who I am writing to, and the date (oh, how many mishaps have I had this year?)...
However, it should be good practice when sharing online to redact/blur writings, and limit what you do show, be thee the sender or receiver...
I know mail delivery has been not as great over the last 2 years... and understand why some would say, e.g. Tuesday - letter going out to my pal David in SK/Canada... and sometimes see envelopes destined for me (educated guess) on social media, and when one finally arrives after about 2 months journey time from the US... I know it puts some people at ease knowing letters have arrived safe...
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Post by mrsduffy on May 5, 2022 0:28:13 GMT
That has happened to me only once when a pen pal posted one of my letters on her blog. I didn't cut the person off, it was just poor judgement on her part. Fortunately I hadn't written anything too personal but still, it felt like a violation. My response was a post of my own about letters being private. I hoped it would be a gentle nudge and a whispered, "These are the unspoken rules, Dear Heart." As for other (UN)social media, I seldom post anything at all and I never repeat personal conversation which essentially is what a letter is.
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escorpio
Pencils
Posts: 93
Looking for Penpals?: Perhaps. It depends...
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Post by escorpio on Aug 29, 2022 6:35:44 GMT
I recently started writing to a woman I found on IG, and I've noticed that she shares picture of letters (incoming and outgoing) there. Based on this thread, it seems I wouldn't be out of line to ask that she doesn't share identifiable text on IG. (I don't think neither my handwriting or stationery would be spectacular enough). A letter is a personal conversation and I don't what that open for the entire world to see.
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Post by ginny on Sept 1, 2022 17:07:28 GMT
I recently started writing to a woman I found on IG, and I've noticed that she shares picture of letters (incoming and outgoing) there. Based on this thread, it seems I wouldn't be out of line to ask that she doesn't share identifiable text on IG. (I don't think neither my handwriting or stationery would be spectacular enough). A letter is a personal conversation and I don't what that open for the entire world to see. No, it wouldn't be out of line, as far as I can see it. I certainly have asked people who share their incoming and outgoing mail on Instagram to obscure my address. I also wouldn't be amused if someone shared the contents of the letter on social media - if they are happy to show their own address (in my handwriting), I'm not bothered (some people don't mind), but sharing content of letters and my address - that's a no-go in my eyes.
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Post by Rouge on Sept 3, 2022 10:19:13 GMT
I never posted a picture of an enveloppe or a letter. Maybe is it a little strange, but I tend to mentally separate penpalship and social media stuff - which is why I often forget to tell when and from who I receive a letter, even here. I think surprise is a too important part of letters to be spoiled.
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Post by davidv on Sept 5, 2022 23:04:58 GMT
I’m with you Rouge, I wouldn’t think to connect letter writing and social media stuff. They’re just totally disconnected parts of life for me.
Having said that, I hardly ever post anything of social media, so I might not be a very relevant example.
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