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Post by richila on Apr 16, 2018 16:42:33 GMT
This was really interesting reading. I started reading it out of curiosity, while writing to a male pen-pal. I write to both men and women.
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Post by stompie on Aug 8, 2018 19:59:51 GMT
Sheeze, what a thread. Almost feel embarrassed because I am a male! How on earth someone can get a notion that there is more going on between penpals a few thousand miles apart is a mystery to me, but, there you go! Oh, whatever happened to Suzy, I see he was last on in February. Pity, I have always been scared of baking and I though he might have some tips for me
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Post by Bob on Aug 8, 2018 20:59:33 GMT
"As an aside, did anyone write love-letters to their girl/boy-friends and then partners/spouses? (perhaps that should be a topic for a thread of its own)" Yes, I wrote letters to girlfriends who lived downstate, and as a Navy officer in the 90's to one who was deployed. Lately, I've sent postcards from Paris to a couple of romantic interests. As for pen pals, I write to men and women, and wouldn't let a significant other limit that.
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Post by Catida on Jun 7, 2020 9:18:08 GMT
I only correspond with other women. I don't much care for writing only about everyday stuff. I want to share my feelings and deeper thoughts, and I feel doing so with a man creates a serious risk for one or the other developing deeper feelings. I should add that I avoid developing a deeper friendship with men in real life too. I have some bad experiences of being "just friends" with guys before, so I find it safer this way.
Some of you men said you find the idea that someone would create a crush through corresponding laughable. But for me, the ability to write well is a very attractive feature in itself! I can very well imagine creating feelings for someone who is good with words.
I do find the idea that people are sharing the content of their letters with family members a bit uncomfortable. I guess it depends on the content, of course. It's fine if you share the funny story about a squirrel, and I do share that kind of content too. But I wouldn't want my penfriends to let everyone read about some intimate stuff we discuss.
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Post by michelleg on Jun 7, 2020 10:05:15 GMT
But for me, the ability to write well is a very attractive feature in itself! I can very well imagine creating feelings for someone who is good with words. I agree, although I will say I had a terrible experience with a guy who wrote beautiful letters and emails and even spoke well in the phone, but when we met in person, had no social skills whatsoever - as in, later I wondered if he was on the spectrum. Of course, that relationship was intended to be romantic from the beginning, not just pen pals. Still, it taught me that no matter how good we are on paper, that might not translate in real life. I certainly am more articulate on the page, since I have time to think about what I'm going to say. Conversations IRL don't always afford me the same time.
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Post by PhotoJim on Jun 7, 2020 16:11:28 GMT
Interesting thread. I seem to prefer to write to women. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I grew up in an otherwise-all-female household (my father wasn't in my life, so it was just my mother and my sister). My wife's family is all women, too (my father-in-law passed away several years ago and he was pretty introverted, so never super talkative). And when I signed up with a penfriend club in the '80s, about 3/4 of my correspondents were women. Not that I have anything against writing to men. I write to a few now, and I quite enjoy the correspondence. And the travelling journal project in which I participate has all men (we did have a woman at one point but she dropped out of it several years ago). My wife is aware of my correspondents and I share little bits of many letters with her (I remember showing her Katie's impossibly-small handwriting [Hi Katie!]) but I respect my correspondents' privacy, so if they want to get personal, they certainly can. I'm in my 50s now and I'm no longer naive. Attraction can happen. It's not going to cause me to do anything inappropriate. Making real connections with people is what it's all about. (If I cared about my writing, I'd say "...is that about which it all is", but that sounds ridiculous!) Trivial correspondent; explorers of culture; mutual venting society members; close friends. I'm game for whatever you are, no matter your circumstance.
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dweezle666
Finger Paints
Posts: 4
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Non-international penpals only
Country I live in is: USA
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Post by dweezle666 on Jun 20, 2020 14:06:55 GMT
Honestly, to me, it doesn't. But my husband is a very jealous guy so I've promised him I would only correspond with other females.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2020 10:51:04 GMT
I'm happy writing to anyone and Neil is 100% ok with that. I've often said he can read the letters if he wants to just to prove it's just friendship and nothing more but he said no, he doesn't need to as he trusts me
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Post by vintagerose on Jun 24, 2020 20:12:07 GMT
I admit that I feel uneasy writing to males due to some experiences I have had. For example years ago i wrote to a Male and shortly after started getting uncomfortable with his too familiar language and red flags popping up. He was married to an ex female penfriend from a very poor country, wanted to use his work address for letters and sent romantic items with his letters. After I told him I did not wish to continue contact, he said no matter and still continued to send me post. Fortunately for me he lived in the United states and I moved not long after.
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Post by michelleg on Jun 25, 2020 2:41:01 GMT
Whoa vintagerose! That's creepy! I just registered a new p.o. box so I can respond to a letter I just received from a LEXer I don't know. Not sure why, but felt worried enough to do it, and I try and always go with my gut.
I haven't gotten that vibe here.
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Post by michelleg on Jun 25, 2020 11:42:30 GMT
Mia , given that a couple of our new friends here have said that they would prefer to only write to other women, is it worthwhile/possible to add a checkbox. or two, to the "Looking for penpals" section on the profile to avoid possible awkwardness, embarrassment or problems? Of course, we would all then have to update our profile to make it work as intended. Just a thought. Cheers Sue Oh that's a good idea. I second that!
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Post by Mia on Jun 25, 2020 11:56:41 GMT
New options added.
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