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Post by Mia on Jan 20, 2019 0:59:51 GMT
I have seen discussions elsewhere on etiquettes once you've received the letter.
1) The length of time you take to reply - does this really matter?
When I started this forum, I wanted to reply to letters within a fortnight of receipt. Some circumstances have meant I had not been able to put pen to paper for their replies until a month or so after receipt. Now, I try to get letters replied to within the month, but if I'm on a roll, like I have been this year, I could run out of letters to reply to.
I don't mind how long it takes a penpal to reply to my letters, although at times I am impatient and want your letter NOW! With having a variety of penpals, I am glad they take their own variety of time to reply, although if I've had no post for a few days, would I really want a pile of letters my letter-box high the next day!?
Life does happen. There may be distractions. There may be responsibilities and priorities above that of sitting down to reply to letters (but dust if you must should not be one of them all the time).
2) The length of the letter - does it matter how long it is? Do you try to write about the same length to that you've received?
Letter length does not matter to me, although I do try to match the length plus/minus say 25%. Some days, I'll have more to write than others. I'm happy I have a variety of penpals who write a variety of lengths (adjusting even for handwriting size). However, I might not be overjoyed if a response to my 10 A4 page letter only yielded two sides of A5, but then it would depend on the quality of the letter and what was written.
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Post by MKB on Jan 20, 2019 19:21:24 GMT
1) "Nothing really matters to me." 2) Except length and quality. I scan the letters I receive and utilize a software program that does a word count and identifies grammar errors. I submit the content to a discussion group of well-read people that I respect to share our thoughts on the quality of the letter. Then, I use a graph chart with the X axis for word count and a weighted combination of grammar and quality of writing for the Y axis. This yields an area representing the overall impact of the letter. And, if you are wondering, I do have a ratio adjustment factor, so I can fine-tune the importance of quality vs. length (as my preferences have changed over time).
Not to worry, though. I appreciate all letters whether yours are a 1100 or a 4800. I try to reply in kind, so if you find my letters boring or too short, well hmmm, how shall I put this?
[My apologizes Mia, I was just feeling a bit silly this morning, and couldn't help myself.]
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Post by rosesnbrambles on Jan 21, 2019 23:43:42 GMT
1)The length of time you take to reply - does this really matter? My goal is to reply within 2 weeks but life happens so that’s not always possible. I have noticed the longer I wait to reply, the harder it is to do.
2)The length of the letter - does it matter how long it is? Do you try to write about the same length to that you've received? I want to say the length of the letter doesn’t matter; however, that’s only true if the letter has substance. Most of my letters are between 2 and 6 A5 sheets which is typically close to the same length that I’ve received. I have one pen friend who responds to my letters with short replies that make me think of a string of text messages due to brevity and lack of substance.
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Post by distractedmom on Jan 22, 2019 3:35:32 GMT
1) "Nothing really matters to me." 2) Except length and quality. I scan the letters I receive and utilize a software program that does a word count and identifies grammar errors. I submit the content to a discussion group of well-read people that I respect to share our thoughts on the quality of the letter. Then, I use a graph chart with the X axis for word count and a weighted combination of grammar and quality of writing for the Y axis. This yields an area representing the overall impact of the letter. And, if you are wondering, I do have a ratio adjustment factor, so I can fine-tune the importance of quality vs. length (as my preferences have changed over time). Not to worry, though. I appreciate all letters whether yours are a 1100 or a 4800. I try to reply in kind, so if you find my letters boring or too short, well hmmm, how shall I put this? [My apologizes Mia, I was just feeling a bit silly this morning, and couldn't help myself.] I lol'd. Your answer reminded me of "Dead Poet's Society" when Mr. Keating is teaching them about how to measure the greatness of a poem.
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Post by distractedmom on Jan 22, 2019 3:39:04 GMT
1. Length of time to reply. Does it matter? I am notoriously slow at replying. My goal is within two months (hangs head in shame) I think that most of my pen pals have accepted and forgiven my tardiness. 2. Length? Does is matter? I do try to reply with a letter about the same length as the one that I received. I have what I refer to as "short-letter pen pals" and "long letter pen pals." I enjoy both.
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Post by MKB on Jan 22, 2019 4:15:27 GMT
I lol'd. Your answer reminded me of "Dead Poet's Society" when Mr. Keating is teaching them about how to measure the greatness of a poem. Ding, ding! Okay, young lady, choose your prize.
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Post by hoyabella on Jan 13, 2020 13:11:10 GMT
I have seen discussions elsewhere on etiquettes once you've received the letter. 1) The length of time you take to reply - does this really matter? 2) The length of the letter - does it matter how long it is? Do you try to write about the same length to that you've received? 1) I am a slow writer and I don't expect prompt replies from my pen friends. 2) To me, length matters, or maybe I should say that it doesn't matter, as long as it is not very short. Let's say that one A4 page, with large handwriting is not what I'd choose. Some times I write more than my penpals did, sometimes less (in particular when replying to one penpal who has the gift to express in two pages what I'd write in one paragraph 😉); it depends on their letters, really, and if I have something special to tell.
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Post by Mia on Jan 13, 2020 14:31:02 GMT
1) I was reading discussions elsewhere - I think in a world of instant gratification, it can be hard to wait for the letter. There was a penpal ad requesting letters weekly (to me, that sounds a bit demanding). While some missives deserve an immediate response (not necessarily in full), a quality response may take time before it is written. Then, there's the length of time for letters to travel.
2) Quality rather than quantity perhaps?
Stephen King can write short stories, as well as epics. Two such short stories - The Mangler, and, The Lawnmower Man could easily be read within an hour... yet the film versions are longer!
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Post by ginny on Jan 13, 2020 16:57:49 GMT
1) The length of time you take to reply - does this really matter?
-> I'm a slow writer. I always have the best intentions to respond quickly, but usually, life happens, and I'm two months behind without knowing how I got there. I have gone through phases when I didn't write for weeks or even months because I had things happening that made me feel uncommunicative (family health issues, grief, trouble at work... the list goes on). I'm thankful that not all of my penpals decided to give up on me then. Some did, and although it hurt, it's OK. As a result, I'm also very patient with everyone who corresponds with me, and I do not expect instant or even quick replies. From some of my penpals I hear once or twice a year. That's OK with me, and their letters always have some substance, so it's all good.
2) The length of the letter - does it matter how long it is? Do you try to write about the same length to that you've received?
-> Since I take a while to respond, my letters usually are on the longer side. I usually don't give people a complete rundown on what has happened since I last wrote, but I highlight the main things and go on about what I've been reading, or if I've seen a particular movie etc. - it's more like an ongoing conversation, if you know what I mean. I don't run out of things to talk about easily :-) It's nice when I get a response that's a similar length so the conversation keeps going on... it's not very satisfactory when you write 6 pages A4 and receive 2 pages A5 in big handwriting as a response. However - length isn't everything. I get bored out of my wits when people just list what they have been doing day-by-day or what they had for dinner over the past week (without any connection to what you wrote about in your last letter - I mean, if there's a context, OK, but if not - what the heck?). So, if someone goes on about stuff like that over 6 pages A4, then that's not great, either.
Bottom line: There's more to a functioning relationship than length of letters and frequency of writing.
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Post by radellaf on Jan 13, 2020 21:06:50 GMT
1. Length of time to reply. Does it matter? My goal is within two months (hangs head in shame) To me, that's about prefect and something I aspire to. As it stands, six months has been on the fast side for me. My priorities are writing/netflix/warcraft, but the reality is netflix/warcraft/writing. Same, even have one just about postcard length only pal that I still enjoy. The weird part is while I love a long letter and, in the end, love writing a long reply... I get intimidated and often put off replying because I know I won't be able to just knock out a reply quickly. Same with emails, too, and I think I'm not the only one there. With email, if I get a reply to a long message, it usually only addresses a few sentences of mine. Frustrating at times. With a letter, anything is fine.
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colourfingerss
Crayons
Posts: 5
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Global penpals welcome
Country I live in is: England
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Post by colourfingerss on Jan 14, 2020 16:56:45 GMT
I don't write as often as I should or at least I haven't been. Things were so up in the air last year and life was so unstable, moving back and forth that, I didn't write to anyone for a year. I'm hoping that'll change this year though.
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Post by hoyabella on Jul 3, 2020 16:53:58 GMT
To me, length matters, or maybe I should say that it doesn't matter, as long as it is not very short. Let's say that one A4 page, with large handwriting is not what I'd choose. Guess what, I received a couple of *short* letters (really short) and it was great!
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Post by Catida on Jul 3, 2020 18:24:53 GMT
To me, length matters, or maybe I should say that it doesn't matter, as long as it is not very short. Let's say that one A4 page, with large handwriting is not what I'd choose. Guess what, I received a couple of *short* letters (really short) and it was great! Now I'm curious. What type of content does a great short letter have?
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Post by hoyabella on Jul 3, 2020 19:46:57 GMT
Now I'm curious. What type of content does a great short letter have? One was rather rich, despite its shortness and another was from a penpal who could not write for several months, she has health problems and I was so glad to hear that, after all, she is fine these days. In general I am all for medium and long letters but this time, short was fine 😁
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Post by christyotwisty on Jul 3, 2020 20:51:38 GMT
1. Expectations when to receive letters are more important. I welcome letters from new and inconstant and slow writers. I keep expectations as the regulars who are routinely expedient are in chaos and crisis may benefit from a "what's happening with you? Anything worrisome?" This has been my experience on numerous occasions.
2. Length mattered to me until 2 weeks ago. I have a new penfriend who excels in asking questions that generate long answers. I wrote 6 pages in reply to her 3-page letter and still haven't answered all her Qs. It's daunting and draining for me to match a 2000-word letter. I endeavour to send more later but I sometimes forget.
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