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Post by motsamicaux on Oct 13, 2018 3:24:19 GMT
I'm one of those people who responds quickly to letters that I receive from pen pals, typically within a few days. If I send a response in anything over, say, a week to 10 days, it's because I'm purposely waiting to let a pen pal catch his/her breath, so to speak. And even though my turnaround time is short, my letters tend to be long (20 pages isn't unusual for me).
I worry that my pen pals feel 'pressured' to respond to me quickly also, even though, at the start of our correspondence, I point out that I don't expect the same short turnaround time from them. Another worry of mine is that they'll feel that I'm becoming a 'bother.'
How do you feel about getting fast responses? Can they be 'too fast' for you? Am I breaking some (unknown to me) rule of etiquette by responding 'too soon'?
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Post by filpot on Oct 13, 2018 6:15:44 GMT
My reply time varies massively, depending on whether I'm busy with B&B guests or not. It can be a week, it can be a couple of months. And I rarely write a letter in one sitting. It tends to take a few days.
That said, fast replies don't bother me at all, as long as my penpal understands that I may not reply as quickly myself.
And I never, ever have a problem with long letters. The ones that I have a problem with are the "2 sheets of A5 with nothing to reply to". I find those so difficult to reply to, and my responses are never really satisfactory.
I'd say keep on doing what makes you happy. We're all grown ups, so if a penpal has a problem, he/she can tell you!
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Post by katiel on Oct 13, 2018 10:15:42 GMT
I know you have a fast turn around time, but I never feel “pressured” to respond back immediately (as you know, some of your letters have waited a long time for my response if things are stressful here). I’m always happy to see your letter in my mailbox.
I don’t think there’s any unspoken rules you’re breaking, that I know of. Sometimes my replies are fast, sometimes slow. But if I have a stack of letters to reply to, I might move one farther down in the reply-to pile if I know they need extra time, currently have a large reply pile of their own, or in general prefer a longer time to reply. I think it all depends on the individual. But most often I usually just try to write back as soon as I am able. I think it’s fine?
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Post by Gary S on Oct 14, 2018 0:51:29 GMT
Only because they make me realize how slow I am to get letters out. The 20 page letters may be a bit more intimidating as I generally try to respond in kind to what kind of letters I receive so if you send me 20 pages I would feel I had to send back 15+ and to do that I would have to go back to preschool to find enough to talk about after the first letter. Hello from another Gary here on the forums. This one resides in Oklahoma.
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Post by radellaf on Oct 14, 2018 3:22:28 GMT
I am surprised with < 2 week turnaround, but have a couple of people who regularly do that. It's fine as long as they accept my 2-6 month typical turnaround, which I guess they do since they write back and haven't complained. Two double-sided A5 sheets is pretty typical for what I get in. The same in A4/LTR is usually written large enough that it's about the same number of words. I have one who I've exchanged a few long ones with, maybe 20 pages. I couldn't write that about the day's goings on, but it started with consciousness philosophy, then buddhism, troubles overcome in life and how; so, that kinda needs the length. Something that long is going to take me more like 4-9 months, typically, but I've enjoyed it. Sent a postcard or short note a couple of times, too, saying that this didn't count as a real reply but I wanted to write something sooner. One guy wrote every month or two with something short, and the occasional long one. Haven't heard from him for a while, now that I think of it. Have to send a Halloween or Hanukkah card.
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Post by penguy on Oct 14, 2018 15:59:24 GMT
Right now I have about 8 letters in my inbox waiting for a reply. Partially it is because I was at a B&B for a week (anniversary gift from our son). Then life happens; an art show to put up, an engraving for a calendar page that needs to be finished and printed, and family things. I do get the letters replied to. So I understand when someone else doesn't turn around with a letter in a week. I wish people wouldn't apologize about taking so long to reply in their letters. I actually had one person who chastised me for not replying in a timely manner, it was the second letter.....I didn't respond and have not sent a letter since. People who I have been writing to for a time know that I reply, eventually, and I send off letters to people who I may not have heard from in a year just to see if I can get things going again. It often works.
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Post by Mia on Oct 14, 2018 18:00:14 GMT
An experience from email-friendship wasn't a positive one as replies on same day to daily emails was demanded from one person. Needless to say, that correspondence didn't last long.
I generally like to reply between a fortnight and a month, and used to get a little more stressed when I failed to reply within that period. Things happen and letter writing should be a joy and not a chore.
I know for those first few letters, impatience can get the better of us, as we want letters. Sometimes we forget that life happens, weather happens and delays post, mojo goes off on holiday...
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Post by erin on Oct 17, 2018 1:37:11 GMT
I don't mind fast turnaround. My letter responses all depend on what's going on... if I have a lot to say they seem to go out quicker.
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Post by jamberrychoux on Dec 29, 2018 17:59:38 GMT
I'm one of those people who responds quickly to letters that I receive from pen pals, typically within a few days. If I send a response in anything over, say, a week to 10 days, it's because I'm purposely waiting to let a pen pal catch his/her breath, so to speak. And even though my turnaround time is short, my letters tend to be long (20 pages isn't unusual for me). I worry that my pen pals feel 'pressured' to respond to me quickly also, even though, at the start of our correspondence, I point out that I don't expect the same short turnaround time from them. Another worry of mine is that they'll feel that I'm becoming a 'bother.' How do you feel about getting fast responses? Can they be 'too fast' for you? Am I breaking some (unknown to me) rule of etiquette by responding 'too soon'? I only have one pen pal who responds within a few days of receiving my letter. In the beginning, it kind of startled me to see a reply letter come back so soon because I wasn't expecting anything back for 1 - 3 months. But, now that I am accustomed to her frequency pattern, I actually like it. I had another newbie penpal who would get upset if you did not write back within 30 days. She kept some type of a log book which is how she was able to keep track of dates. If you did not respond within her expected time frame, she would send you a follow-up card asking why you hadn't responded yet. It was very off putting and stressful. Another mutual penpal told me that it bothered her too, but she just firmly told this person that she would write back when she could and she just had to live with that.
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