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Post by alcyone on Dec 29, 2017 23:10:18 GMT
Normally, the whole penpal rotation seems pretty straightforward. Person A sends a letter, Person B responds, repeat.
However, sometimes their are special things, like a greeting card. They aren't necessarily letters as such.
If I sent a letter, and I receive a card, is it my turn, or should I wait for a letter response? (I usually wait for a letter, or wait some length of time and respond to the card.)
(Some cards have letters too, I generally consider that a letter.)
The Miss Manners in my head has a lot of complicated advice about thank you notes and responding to a card with a card or something.
I know it's not rocket science but these are the things that perplex me when I am on vacation and not thinking the thoughts people pay me to think.
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Post by mailartist on Dec 30, 2017 20:42:01 GMT
With me, it depends on how those ongoing exchanges are.
I understand that sometimes "life happens," so otherwise diligent penpals aren't able to write as lengthy of a letter as they'd like (and they often say so in the card). In that case, I'd either reply with a letter (if I felt so inclined), or I'd respond in kind (with a card, short note), letting them know that whenever they can get to responses, it's fine with me.
Then again, I've seen so-called penpals who never move beyond "just a card." If a couple of typical letters on my part fail to elicit any reply other than a sanitary greeting, then I feel no guilt about letting things drop.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2017 10:41:01 GMT
All my pen pals are letter pals - as opposed to e. g. postcard pals. So the regular "rotation" consists of letters.
Any other things, like for example viewcards from vacation, Christmas or birthday cards, are an extra and "out of the rotation" in my view. Sometimes I send an e-mail to thank the person, sometimes a postcard between the letters - and sometimes I just thank them in the next letter.
I might send extra letters, if I know that my penpal isn't temporarily able to write for whatever reason. In that case I don't expect a letter back, however a sentence or two by e-mail sooner or later would be appreciated to keep in touch.
I'm sure that most of us have a gut feeling what kind of response is appropriate.
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Post by radellaf on Dec 31, 2017 10:52:07 GMT
A card with a paragraph or less gets a thanks in my next letter (or sooner, electronically) but isn't a letter or reply in the normal sense. A card with a bunch of text and maybe an extra sheet gets a real reply.
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Post by DJW1066 on Jan 1, 2018 1:12:10 GMT
If I send a postcard, or "greeting" card to a penpal, then it's 'cause I was thinking of them and wanted to share or greet. I don't expect a reply. If I receive a card, then I treat it in similar fashion, and it gets recognized in my next letter. Having said all that, I'm wary of "should's" and falling prey to obligatory writing. So I propose you ignore Mr or Ms Manners, and just do what feels right, and what you would expect in return should the roles be reversed. And relish the occasion when someone thinks enough of you to pop you a postcard while they're on vacation.
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Post by erin on Jan 2, 2018 15:16:21 GMT
I've never thought about this before. But I guess I always answer a letter for a letter. Sometimes I'll send out postcards or whatever, but never consider that my reply.
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Post by Mia on Jan 3, 2018 2:00:21 GMT
I also usually reply to letters in order of receipt, give or take a day or two. However, I am at risk of replying to a letter received today (well, yesterday, 2nd Jan.) instead of ones from last year!
As for postcards, if received, I'll reply when I get a letter, or perhaps within a couple of months if no letter has arrived. Perhaps we need a section/threads for acknowledging receipt of post, or encourage thanks via electronic message, although the threads could look competitive and people left out (why didn't you write to me, or jealous that some people get more letters than others). Or, encourage people to use an existing thread (e.g., today, I received my first letters for 2018, one from North Carolina, and one from Yorkshire. Posted two letters including a reply to 5Q). Electronic messages sometimes defeats snail mail - is that always a bad thing?
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Post by schnacks on Jan 3, 2018 17:35:44 GMT
Regarding the electronic/snail mail thing.... I am torn on that. It seems like a bit of a betrayal to reply to someone via email. I think you are talking about just a simple acknowledgement, not a substitute for writing back. I feel like it’s a slippery slope, though. My (new) policy is that if I don’t have time to write back within a week, I am sending a quick postcard. “Got your letter! Thanks! Sending one back soon!” - that sort of thing.
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Post by alcyone on Jan 4, 2018 11:54:57 GMT
Regarding the electronic/snail mail thing.... I am torn on that. It seems like a bit of a betrayal to reply to someone via email. I think you are talking about just a simple acknowledgement, not a substitute for writing back. I feel like it’s a slippery slope, though. My (new) policy is that if I don’t have time to write back within a week, I am sending a quick postcard. “Got your letter! Thanks! Sending one back soon!” - that sort of thing. Before I kept a notebook to keep track, I was regularly asking people whose turn it was via electronic side messages. I should definitely start using all these postcards. I even have postcard postage. I am paralyzed right now because I have a few cool ones that someone sent me and I don't remember who and don't want to send them back to that person . I guess they'll go to a new penpal. 1 week! You are so prompt...
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Post by schnacks on Jan 4, 2018 16:37:19 GMT
1 week! You are so prompt... Yes I am already considering making that something like 2 or 3 weeks. How long do most people take to reply? I want the letter writing to be pleasurable, not stressful, so I am very relaxed about how long people take to write back to me. However I don’t want people (especially newish Penpals) thinking that I have abandoned them because it is taking me longer than 2 or 3 weeks to respond.
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Post by sgtstretch on Jan 4, 2018 16:39:52 GMT
I'm usually about a month between receiving and replying. If I get a letter from someone new, that jumps to the front of the reply pile for the initial reply, then goes back to the normal rotation for the next letter from that person.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2018 19:38:31 GMT
How long do most people take to reply? In general it takes me four weeks to reply on an average, so sometimes that means only two weeks, sometimes six. However, during the last three months I've been slower than usual due to stress. My goal is to reply within two to four weeks.
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Post by joy52 on Jan 4, 2018 20:23:36 GMT
If at all possible.....I reply the same day! I try to write several letters a day. Do have a reply pile at the moment as I am in The Netherlands visiting with friends and I ran out of writing paper. Have ordered some TRP online...am expecting it to arrive tomorrow.
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Post by radellaf on Jan 4, 2018 22:28:55 GMT
I usually take 2-6 months to reply, so that's why an electronic (email or private message) "delivery confirmation" would be good for me to do. Don't see it as a slippery slope, just "it got here" and maybe "cool homemade envelope with a capybara face looking at me from the shelf". Nothing more. Wouldn't want to use a public thread for it.
Mostly useful for international. I had one get lost & then found going to the Netherlands, a soaked-to-unreadable missive to Australia... don't think I've ever missed a domestic letter or had one of mine get lost.
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Post by distractedmom on Jan 5, 2018 15:54:53 GMT
My goal is to reply within a month. Reality, after the Holidays, is two months right now. I am getting caught up though.
I think of postcards and birthday cards and other greeting cards as extras within the regular correspondence and don't require a response individually. I respond to letters in the order in which I received them, and tuck any extras in the pile with the letter so that I (hopefully) remember to acknowledge them.
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