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Post by migo984 on Aug 24, 2015 11:57:06 GMT
Evening all,
I have pen pals of all ages, some younger than me, (one much much younger), some of similar age and a few are older. I was told by someone that they don't correspond with people younger than themselves as they found they had nothing in common with them.
I don't think that age matters one bit; other factors are more important when it comes to successful correspondence.
What are your experiences and what do you think about age and compatibility?
migo
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Post by writingrav on Aug 24, 2015 12:21:28 GMT
If I didn't correspond with people younger than me there wouldn't be that many people to correspond with.
I have pen pals of different ages and therefore have different kinds of things to write about.
Since most of my pen pals are from the fountain pen community there is always common ground.
One or two correspondences that didn't work out had nothing to do with age, but wee personality issues.
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Post by Mia on Aug 24, 2015 12:42:22 GMT
I don't personally see an issue with age. I have written to a sweet Lithuanian girl who was 15 at the time of our first letters (I was in my 30s then). I haven't heard from her for a while but she should be at university. I thoroughly enjoyed her letters. Her English was fantastic.
I can understand wanting a minimum age limit, i.e. adult (18 or 21 perhaps)... and having a limited age range for a child's penpal... but in the "real world" you work and socialise with a range of ages so why not have that in penpalling.
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Post by chojo on Aug 24, 2015 14:14:06 GMT
Personally I won't write to anyone under 18, not just because I have nothing in common with them but in today's society I would be looked upon by most people as a weirdo or worse when they discovered in my spare time I write to young boys and girls. I've lost count of the amount of times people have given me funny looks or even shouted abuse at me just for being in a public park with my camera. All I see is flora and fauna, all they see is paedophile. I don't think it's right, I certainly don't think it's fair but it seems to be the world we live in. So as a single middle aged man I now stay away from young people full stop. The funny thing is I don't think any of the female photographers I've conversed with has ever suffered any problems whatsoever
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Post by jimothy on Aug 24, 2015 20:09:05 GMT
I don't perceive age as being an issue. I have pen pals more than 20 years my younger and some almost 30 years older. they are no different to my friends that I see around and about. If there is some common interest then there is something to be written about. I have also learnt a lot of new things because pen friends were into things that I knew nothing about, just like my other friends that I see round and about.
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Post by migo984 on Aug 24, 2015 23:40:41 GMT
Thank you everyone. I agree with you & I must say I was rather bemused by the person who refused to write to someone younger. I'm in my 50s and in fact, I write to a nearly 8 year old. I was invited to do so by his mum, as she wanted him to get more writing practice. She reads the letters I send him too, which is fine by me. He uses fountain pens (brilliantly) and sends me some of the best letters I get. His are *much* better than mine! His view on the world is refreshing & enlightening :-)
I take your point though chojo, about the perceptions & suspicions relating to contact with children. I guess it's understandable, given the media coverage of grooming & the like, but is still a sad indictment of where we are as a society with regard to lack of trust and paranoia. Perspective seems to have been lost somewhere along the way.
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Post by skye on Aug 25, 2015 11:16:46 GMT
When I was a teenager I used to write to a couple of penpals who were over 15 years my senior and we wrote for ages, I still have their address and should probably drop them a note. With that in mind I will never purposely exclude someone on age alone. Some kids are old souls and seem older than some adults I know. That being said, the majority of my penpals are within 10 years of me. Age is after all just a number.
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Post by bogon07 on Aug 26, 2015 23:46:14 GMT
One of the first letters I rec'd in the 2013 InCoWriMo was from a very young girl and I mulled over the implications before replying. But she did do some lovely coloured pencil drawings of owls and so Penguin came into stationery existence.
Like Chojo says I'm concerned about perceptions when dealing with people much younger than yourself in today's social climate. I hope things don't come to being only allowed to communicate with others within a 5-10 age band of your own.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2015 11:22:00 GMT
I'm enjoying reading this thread and noticed that the advertisement at the top was an ad for an ad blocker app. That seems a bit oxymoronic ....
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Post by sharmon202 on Aug 29, 2015 15:20:37 GMT
Personally I won't write to anyone under 18, not just because I have nothing in common with them but in today's society I would be looked upon by most people as a weirdo or worse when they discovered in my spare time I write to young boys and girls. I've lost count of the amount of times people have given me funny looks or even shouted abuse at me just for being in a public park with my camera. All I see is flora and fauna, all they see is paedophile. I don't think it's right, I certainly don't think it's fair but it seems to be the world we live in. So as a single middle aged man I now stay away from young people full stop. The funny thing is I don't think any of the female photographers I've conversed with has ever suffered any problems whatsoever Even being of the female gender I would not correspond with someone under 18, maybe not under 21. The world is crazy, people will sue under even the smallest of circumstances. I think caution is the word of the time, especially for men, regardless of marital status. Gotta say though, chojo, rare for women to be pedophiles therefore the most fear being of the male gender. I am sorry you have had the experiences to feel this. What kind of flora & fauna do you look to photograph?
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Post by chojo on Aug 29, 2015 15:27:38 GMT
Personally I won't write to anyone under 18, not just because I have nothing in common with them but in today's society I would be looked upon by most people as a weirdo or worse when they discovered in my spare time I write to young boys and girls. I've lost count of the amount of times people have given me funny looks or even shouted abuse at me just for being in a public park with my camera. All I see is flora and fauna, all they see is paedophile. I don't think it's right, I certainly don't think it's fair but it seems to be the world we live in. So as a single middle aged man I now stay away from young people full stop. The funny thing is I don't think any of the female photographers I've conversed with has ever suffered any problems whatsoever Even being of the female gender I would not correspond with someone under 18, maybe not under 21. The world is crazy, people will sue under even the smallest of circumstances. I think caution is the word of the time, especially for men, regardless of marital status. Gotta say though, chojo, rare for women to be pedophiles therefore the most fear being of the male gender. I am sorry you have had the experiences to feel this. What kind of flora & fauna do you look to photograph? I used to go out most weeks and photograph all sorts of wildlife but I haven't been out for ages not just because of the abuse thing but my care commitments have increased more in the last two years so I don't have time to go anymore. I do miss it at times but such is life.
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Post by sharmon202 on Aug 29, 2015 19:07:05 GMT
Even being of the female gender I would not correspond with someone under 18, maybe not under 21. The world is crazy, people will sue under even the smallest of circumstances. I think caution is the word of the time, especially for men, regardless of marital status. Gotta say though, chojo, rare for women to be pedophiles therefore the most fear being of the male gender. I am sorry you have had the experiences to feel this. What kind of flora & fauna do you look to photograph? I used to go out most weeks and photograph all sorts of wildlife but I haven't been out for ages not just because of the abuse thing but my care commitments have increased more in the last two years so I don't have time to go anymore. I do miss it at times but such is life. Do you have some pictures from the past, some favorites you would care to share? I might even know some, I have some education in horticulture and experience working in flower shops, greenhouses, and garden shops during summers. One of my favorite jobs I have ever had was lower delivering
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Post by sinistral on Aug 29, 2015 21:45:35 GMT
I think that the people that do correspond via snail mail will mostly be an adult over 25. I agree age is a number. Everyone is cautious these days rightly so, we live in a whacked world. I think those that in the fountain pen community and those that write letters are decent people and probably would not abuse the information.
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Post by sharmon202 on Aug 30, 2015 20:50:32 GMT
I think that the people that do correspond via snail mail will mostly be an adult over 25. I agree age is a number. Everyone is cautious these days rightly so, we live in a whacked world. I think those that in the fountain pen community and those that write letters are decent people and probably would not abuse the information. I agree and have a lot of trust in our community. It was the comments and opportunities to write to others I might be concerned about. I am sorry I was unclear about that. I did not mean it as an insult or doubt about people here or the other forums
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Post by sinistral on Aug 31, 2015 16:52:48 GMT
I think that the people that do correspond via snail mail will mostly be an adult over 25. I agree age is a number. Everyone is cautious these days rightly so, we live in a whacked world. I think those that in the fountain pen community and those that write letters are decent people and probably would not abuse the information. I agree and have a lot of trust in our community. It was the comments and opportunities to write to others I might be concerned about. I am sorry I was unclear about that. I did not mean it as an insult or doubt about people here or the other forums No insult taken at all, your original post was clear.
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