|
Post by chojo on Oct 1, 2015 15:47:38 GMT
If your usually punctual pen friends don't reply as usual, how long do you wait before writing again? I mean there's always a chance that your letter has been lost in transit or even that they no longer wish to write to you. Perhaps even God forbid something bad has happened to them. Also does it matter how long they've been writing to you? If, let's say Fred has been writing for 3 months and Freda for 3 years would you bother writing to Fred again or just put it down to experience, I mean I know I've had several instances especially around InCoWriMo time when I've had lot's of letters from first timers who "would love a pen pal and promise to write every week" only to realise a month later that it actually isn't quite as easy as they thought to write to twenty different people every week!
|
|
|
Post by Mia on Oct 1, 2015 16:22:06 GMT
I aim to reply within a fortnight, or a month at the outside. I am not actually one for asking if my letter arrived. I know life can get in the way (I stopped letters for a while but sent a Christmas card for a few years to one correspondent) and perhaps I didn't want to add to the pressure of asking if it got there/where's my letter... If I really really enjoyed their letters/friendship, then maybe I would send something after a while. Reminds me, I do hope one InCoWriMo person is OK - his wife was not a very well bunny (stroke?) in the spring, and I haven't heard from him since. I may send a card next month to see if all is OK.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2015 10:27:36 GMT
If a reply letter is long overdue (two months or so) and if I have an email address, I might email and inquire how the correspondent is. Otherwise I tend to let it lapse if it seems like a natural way to terminate our exchange. If it seems out of character I would probably send a postcard. Often an exchange of two or three letters exhausts what you might have in common, and a dropout might be sudden but it doesn't bug me in the least if someone doesn't feel inclined to reply. Sometimes long delays are caused by changes of circumstances (such as a period of study), employment, illness or other reasons. I've got a couple of long term correspondents that have dropped back to 1 or 2 letters per annum because of such reasons.
|
|
|
Post by skye on Oct 2, 2015 11:18:44 GMT
I tend to weigh how long they usually take to respond. Lately It has been on my end that there is a delay. Sadly it will take me a couple of months for a name to rise to the top in my queue as I only get to write on weekends and sadly I dont write particularly fast which just adds to the delay.
|
|
|
Post by sharmon202 on Oct 2, 2015 12:14:17 GMT
I wait a good while, couple of months or longer then I inquire by email, if I have it, if the person is OK. I have added I am not pressuring to write just checking in. This is supposed to be fun, relaxing, not an obligation so I do not take offense.
|
|
|
Post by writingrav on Oct 2, 2015 13:05:30 GMT
I have only sent Letters to folks who have not responded to my previous letters on rare occasions when I believe that person and I have established a true relationship. I would still wait a few months in that situation. Otherwise I assume, in most cases, that silence is a signal of conclusion. I'd much rather people just write a quick card saying they preferred not to continue or we're unable, but that never happens.
|
|
|
Post by thatauthor on Oct 3, 2015 16:41:42 GMT
I've waited a couple months before pinging, and only when I would have thought the correspondence would have naturally continued. I don't have years of experience, mind you... just since the 2015 incowrimo.
|
|
|
Post by sharmon202 on Oct 31, 2015 14:55:17 GMT
I have only sent Letters to folks who have not responded to my previous letters on rare occasions when I believe that person and I have established a true relationship. I would still wait a few months in that situation. Otherwise I assume, in most cases, that silence is a signal of conclusion. I'd much rather people just write a quick card saying they preferred not to continue or we're unable, but that never happens. I agree
|
|
|
Post by alc3261 on Nov 1, 2015 0:06:33 GMT
I have only sent Letters to folks who have not responded to my previous letters on rare occasions when I believe that person and I have established a true relationship. I would still wait a few months in that situation. Otherwise I assume, in most cases, that silence is a signal of conclusion. I'd much rather people just write a quick card saying they preferred not to continue or we're unable, but that never happens. I would send another letter or a card if I thought the person would most likely have got back to me. If I think they have stopped the correspondence I would let it go.
|
|
|
Post by stormymorning on Nov 1, 2015 8:48:56 GMT
Same here. If only a few letters have been exchanged, I assume there won't be a reply anymore after a month or so. Once or twice, I have asked about getting my letter because in some countries the mail isn't that reliable.
|
|
|
Post by sharmon202 on Nov 1, 2015 12:36:05 GMT
People sometimes only do InCoWriMo or other month of writing but do not really say so. You may see them again in Feb.
|
|
|
Post by erin on Nov 2, 2015 19:24:05 GMT
I used to write back within a week. But then it became like a chore rather than something enjoyable. So now, sometimes, it takes longer. But I think my quality of letter is better because when I sit down to write it's because I want to, not out of a sense of weekly obligation.
And I had one penpal write me a letter saying they didn't want to write me anymore. It actually hurt my feelings a lot more than it should have. They thought I was 'too happy'. Who would have thought that being called a happy person could sting?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2015 5:18:31 GMT
Too happy? What's wrong with being happy? I'd much rather receive a letter from a happy, positive person than one who is always doom and gloom and enjoys relating how hard their life is
|
|
|
Post by sharmon202 on Nov 4, 2015 23:08:43 GMT
Too Happy? You should not take them to heart. I think writing should be fun, relaxing, not an obligation. Most understand if it takes some time to get back to them. Smile and be happy anyway!!
|
|