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Post by kansaskyle on Sept 22, 2015 16:06:24 GMT
I wrote my first two introductory penpal letters today, and I commented in each that I wasn't sure if there were any do's and don'ts when it comes to writing penpals.
Are there things you do or don't do when writing penpals? I figured marriage proposals wouldn't be appropriate!
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Post by writingrav on Sept 22, 2015 16:55:11 GMT
Not really anything that isn't obvious. No marriage proposals, very light on political commentary and inviting a person to share about as much as you're willing to share, but avoiding too personal questions. Stay on the surface until you've established a relationship. Hope that helps.
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Post by Mia on Sept 22, 2015 18:15:59 GMT
I don't like too many questions, but there should be something you can comment on. There are many sites out there for finding penpals and display profiles. One first letter I received was a carbon copy of her profile, nothing really there to converse over and hadn't read my profile. It was all about her. Some letters I have had were more like a diary entry. Sometimes, it can be hard to know what to write, hence the 5 Questions challenge. What is the aim of correspondence? Friendship... Will your letter make the recipient smile (or maybe fall off the chair laughing)?
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Post by chojo on Sept 22, 2015 18:33:44 GMT
Good advice from Writingrav, with first letters I always mention the things that are important to me such as my faith as they're the kind of things that I'm likely to mention in future letters and if whomever I'm writing to finds them offensive they have a chance to back out before any friendship develops. It's also important to be honest if your correspondent does or says anything that you don't like, you let them know straight away. I know people have different opinions and that's one of the things that makes for interesting letters, but if it's something that you really can't abide there's no point in hoping it will change because it probably won't. For example, one of my pen pals is a hunter, now I've nothing against killing for food but I don't like killing for sport and certainly not for fun. However I have to accept that hunting is a popular pastime in parts of the world so I made sure he knows how I feel and now he doesn't mention it in his letters. In the same way he doesn't believe in God so I don't talk about that. I guess it's just getting the balance right. Depending on where your friends are from, obviously keep in mind cultural differences and I think as long as your polite and honest you won't go far wrong.
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Post by alc3261 on Sept 23, 2015 0:08:52 GMT
Good advice from Writingrav, with first letters I always mention the things that are important to me such as my faith as they're the kind of things that I'm likely to mention in future letters and if whomever I'm writing to finds them offensive they have a chance to back out before any friendship develops. It's also important to be honest if your correspondent does or says anything that you don't like, you let them know straight away. I know people have different opinions and that's one of the things that makes for interesting letters, but if it's something that you really can't abide there's no point in hoping it will change because it probably won't. For example, one of my pen pals is a hunter, now I've nothing against killing for food but I don't like killing for sport and certainly not for fun. However I have to accept that hunting is a popular pastime in parts of the world so I made sure he knows how I feel and now he doesn't mention it in his letters. In the same way he doesn't believe in God so I don't talk about that. I guess it's just getting the balance right. Depending on where your friends are from, obviously keep in mind cultural differences and I think as long as your polite and honest you won't go far wrong. Very good advice.
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Post by Mia on Sept 23, 2015 16:10:52 GMT
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Post by bogon07 on Sept 24, 2015 0:27:55 GMT
Don't solicit money like my Nigerian penpals.
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Post by ladytiger7647 on Sept 25, 2015 0:19:27 GMT
Don't solicit money like my Nigerian penpals. I had a penpal ask me to send a product to her. I think she lived somewhere in Southeast Asia. I would had no problem, but the product was heavy and would have cost me more than it was worth to ship it. She was a new penpal and should have not expected that. On the other hand, my one friend has had marriage proposals so they could come to the US.
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Post by alc3261 on Sept 25, 2015 0:24:12 GMT
Don't solicit money like my Nigerian penpals. I had a penpal ask me to send a product to her. I think she lived somewhere in Southeast Asia. I would had no problem, but the product was heavy and would have cost me more than it was worth to ship it. She was a new penpal and should have not expected that. On the other hand, my one friend has had marriage proposals so they could come to the US. I have asked people to send things which I could not get but always with "Would you be OK to send me some......." and making it very clear that I would pay for the item and the postage.
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Post by ladytiger7647 on Sept 25, 2015 0:37:49 GMT
I had a penpal ask me to send a product to her. I think she lived somewhere in Southeast Asia. I would had no problem, but the product was heavy and would have cost me more than it was worth to ship it. She was a new penpal and should have not expected that. On the other hand, my one friend has had marriage proposals so they could come to the US. I have asked people to send things which I could not get but always with "Would you be OK to send me some......." and making it very clear that I would pay for the item and the postage. That would be acceptable. I've been known to slip teas into my letters and send Christmas presents to long standing penpals. But at least get a few letters in before requesting stuff.
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Post by thatauthor on Sept 25, 2015 13:43:02 GMT
For me, I think there are a few do's (some of which are probably obvious but I've seen it omitted):
Include a return address on the envelope (at least) and make it legible. Personally I use print on the envelope for the address rather than cursive because my handwriting is not the best.
Use a permanent ink on the envelope. Some folks live in humid environment or you may encounter some rain - a non-permanent ink may cause your letter not to get there.
In terms of content, for me a solicitation for money especially initially would probably make me relegate the letter to the bin. I'd be amenable to someone saying they have some sort of non-profit or if they have a business or product, but a direct request for money is offputting.
When I can I try to convert our insane Imperial/American measurements into metric for non-American correspondents.
I think it should be a two way street in writing letters - be interested in the other person but also say something about yourself.
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Post by penguy on May 3, 2018 2:59:48 GMT
I avoid saying anything about politics or religion until I get a feel for the person I'm writing to. My first letter is usually short talking a bit about my interests, my family in very general terms, the community I live in, and a bit about the geography where I live. Nothing too heavy or serious, I figure if I get a reply back I can give more detail and what they have to say will lead to a more detailed response.
With the first letter or two I often put a return address label at the bottom of the letter, just in case the envelope and letter should get separated and they wouldn't have my address. I sometimes use ink that is not permanent but rub over the address with a tea light candle that I've taken out of the aluminum cup, the wax is soft and the address can be easily seen and it protect the address in case of rain or water.
Regarding metric conversions. I try to use what ever system in my letters that is used in the country of the person I am writing to. I have an app on my iPhone 'Units Plus' that easily converts feet to meters, ˚F to˚C, speed, volume and weight. It really comes in handy.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2018 4:18:57 GMT
I figured marriage proposals wouldn't be appropriate! I once got a first letter with a marriage proposal. Your comment just reminded me of that. It was three decades ago. My address had been announced in an international radio program to which I had written because I was looking for penpals. The letter was from Algeria, The guy was 30 and wrote that he wanted to marry me. I was 13. The letter was delivered to me via express, which meant that the mailman rang at our door at 6 o'clock in the morning. My mom was still in her nightgown (but wore a bathrobe when she opened the door). Man, was I afraid that this guy would suddenly show up on our doormat.
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