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Post by ginny on Dec 2, 2020 16:39:46 GMT
Hi everybody,
I'm not sure if this is the right place for my question... but I'll give it a go, anyway.
As the Christmas cards are beginning to trickle in this year, I'm once again baffled by the differences in what people write (or don't write) inside. I receive all sorts of cards, and they are definitely all welcome, but I can't help but being a bit bemused by the 'contents' of some cards. It seems like such a waste of postage to me when people send cards that go like this:
Dear x (some even leave off the 'dear')
~ inscription saying 'merry Christmas' or whatever else ~
Person's signature
That's so impersonal, and I wonder if people basically work off a list, just so they have proved to everybody that they've remembered to send them a card.
I sometimes think I'd much rather have a card in spring or at any other time when people actually find the time to write something personal than a hastily scribbled Christmas card that's more or less a formality, as it seems.
What do y'all think? Am I totally off the mark or what?
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Post by richila on Dec 2, 2020 18:15:12 GMT
I think that we are different in that we actually write letters to people and receive them on a regular basis. I have been sending postcards this year to friends who don't write letters. So far, I have sent "You're Awesome", "Thinking of you", Halloween and Thanksgiving postcards. I usually pick a greeting and write it on each card- that way I can send 5 to 25 postcards out a week. I have gotten a lot of messages thanking me. My little postcard was the only mail that they received that wasn't a bill. Letter writers have a different perspective than non-writers.
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Post by ginny on Dec 2, 2020 18:28:29 GMT
I think that we are different in that we actually write letters to people and receive them on a regular basis. I have been sending postcards this year to friends who don't write letters. So far, I have sent "You're Awesome", "Thinking of you", Halloween and Thanksgiving postcards. I usually pick a greeting and write it on each card- that way I can send 5 to 25 postcards out a week. I have gotten a lot of messages thanking me. My little postcard was the only mail that they received that wasn't a bill. Letter writers have a different perspective than non-writers. Yes, that's right.
However... I'm actually talking about cards from fellow letter writers! Here in Germany it's not common to send everybody and their sister a holiday card, so I get most of my Christmas cards from penfriends. I find it a bit sad that some of them apparently have no idea what to say.
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Post by richila on Dec 2, 2020 20:09:36 GMT
I think that we are different in that we actually write letters to people and receive them on a regular basis. I have been sending postcards this year to friends who don't write letters. So far, I have sent "You're Awesome", "Thinking of you", Halloween and Thanksgiving postcards. I usually pick a greeting and write it on each card- that way I can send 5 to 25 postcards out a week. I have gotten a lot of messages thanking me. My little postcard was the only mail that they received that wasn't a bill. Letter writers have a different perspective than non-writers. Yes, that's right.
However... I'm actually talking about cards from fellow letter writers! Here in Germany it's not common to send everybody and their sister a holiday card, so I get most of my Christmas cards from penfriends. I find it a bit sad that some of them apparently have no idea what to say. Okay, that makes no sense to me. I can understand assembly line Christmas cards, but adding a note on a separate page could be done without disturbing the "flow".
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Post by vertolive on Dec 3, 2020 3:55:20 GMT
Let’s see..
I like the seasonal ritual of finding my special card and stamps for the year (this year it’s a postcard) and sending out my Christmas batch.
A card is a card and a letter is a letter. That said, I write a short line of poetry or song lyric on the card plus my well wishes for Christmas/ New Year. And off they go.
If you’re a pen friend you’ll get a letter in the normal course of our correspondence. I just see these as two different things. The fact that someone made or purchased a special missive to send to me separately is, in itself, a gift no matter how short the message.
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Post by Catida on Dec 3, 2020 6:10:47 GMT
ginny, I have been thinking about the same thing. Why send a card if you have nothing to say? But then I thought maybe their message is the card itself (the picture/design they have chosen) and the fact that they've bothered to send it to me. Personally I don't have a routine of sending Christmas cards to a list of people. Some years I send more cards, some less, and on those that I send I always write a personal message. Maybe this has to do with the "love languages" someone mentioned in another thread. For some of us it's the words that matter most, others might appreciate the gift aspect, and some pay most attention on the visual art..
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Post by katiel on Dec 3, 2020 6:38:15 GMT
Inevitably, every Autumn (with all the time we spend doing the fall yard work in our giant yard), I fall behind in writing, and in that time, almost all of my penpals catch up and have sent their reply letters to me. Soooo...as I write back to them in late November and December I write a quick Christmas card (like the one you described) and tuck the letter inside. I only write the card as I finish or start the letter though - no impersonal assembly-lining.
For those few penpals that I’m actually caught up with, but that I know appreciate holiday cards, I’ll write a card, and either on the blank part inside (or on a separate sheet if the normally blank part is decorated), I’ll write a little note tailored to that penpal. (Maybe 10-20 sentences)
Family members get the same - a short note inside the card...but I’ll be honest, sending a Christmas card to everyone in my giant family would mean over 60 Christmas cards. Not going to happen. So I only send them to special relatives, or relatives who I know always take the time to send me a card at Christmas time, or relatives who I know getting a Christmas card really matters to.
As a side note, when mid-November hits, I reorganize my reply pile: Instead of just replying to any letters in the order that they’re written, I pull out all the international ones, and reply to them in the order they were written (to give them extra time to reach their destinations before Christmas), and then switch to the domestic replies, and do the same.
Anyway, as for me, I’m super happy to get any card that has anything handwritten inside, even if it’s a quick greeting. Especially if it’s from a penpal - I know they were taking the time to think of me as they wrote it, which seems really nice, to me (and I know longer letters are coming in the future - this was just kind of a quick check in, to say “hi, thinking of you!”). The ones that seem kind of impersonal to me are the ones where they get everything printed (including the envelopes with addresses) and shipped out by the printer, and the people sending the card have never even seen or touched the card before it was mailed to you (I have two different cousins who have done this in the past). I’m not quite sure what to make of this...I mean, they still went to the effort to connect (maybe?) and send a card, they just paid someone else to do it for them. 🤷🏻♀️ Who knows? Wow, I’m a jabberbox tonight! 😂 maybe it’s time for me to go to bed...
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Post by ginny on Dec 3, 2020 16:35:53 GMT
You may be right, Catida, and the gift lies within the card itself. I have perhaps become a bit cynical about all that as I have received so many pre-printed cards with pre-printed labels over the years. Just today I received a card that was basically a family photo (my, the kids have grown since the last Christmas card!), there was a pre-printed greeting and a pre-printed signature. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, was handwritten. It was obviously mass-processed *sigh* To make it clear, I don't expect anybody to write an epic novel in a Christmas card. I don't do that myself, so I certainly wouldn't expect it from anybody else. However... a few personal words can make all the difference. But as I said in my initial posting - *all* cards are welcome and appreciated
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Post by doultonmyra on Dec 3, 2020 17:54:04 GMT
I try to include a note at the very least. Probably the people overseas get the fullest ones because I start them in November when I think that they might arrive by the end of December (possibly) and have more energy. I try to make them different and individual.
On the other hand, about 90% of my cards go out to either senior citizens in nursing homes, people who are confined in various circumstances, and people who have sent out calls to receive cards. For them, I only write a brief greeting because I think it's the card they want, not a long missive. It brings me pleasure and the costs are my Christmas gift to myself.
A few years ago I had some beautiful cards by Tolkien which I had procured in Oxford. I offered them up to members of a letter-writing forum (not this one) and almost all of them sent me a message: "Please do not write on the card!" "I need this card pristine" and I felt crestfallen when I sent them out. I think they saw it as a "free item for those who like Tolkien" and not as a "card from me which incidentally is by Tolkien".
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Post by Mia on Dec 3, 2020 17:57:38 GMT
If a card is accompanying a letter, I don't write much extra in the card. Otherwise it depends, if I write anything more than just the seasonal greetings/wishes.
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Post by ginny on Dec 3, 2020 21:31:44 GMT
A few years ago I had some beautiful cards by Tolkien which I had procured in Oxford. I offered them up to members of a letter-writing forum (not this one) and almost all of them sent me a message: "Please do not write on the card!" "I need this card pristine" and I felt crestfallen when I sent them out. I think they saw it as a "free item for those who like Tolkien" and not as a "card from me which incidentally is by Tolkien". That's such a shame. I can sympathise with your feelings - I would have felt dejected, too.
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Post by distractedmom on Dec 4, 2020 14:43:47 GMT
I am the American who sends out too many cards. My regular holiday cards include some family photos and a generic letter about how our year has been. It’s a way of catching up with the people who are not on social media. Most years I’ll sign them with a “merry Christmas or “happy new year” but this year I didn’t. I understand how that can feel impersonal but I didn’t have it in me this year. Plus, the photo cards didn’t have a good spot for signing. There are times when I receive cards with nothing personal written and think, “wow, was this just a chore to cross off of your list?” But then I am grateful to be included in their list. On the other side, I have also been teased for the fact that I take the time to hand-address my envelopes. When my kids were young, I used to make my cards, all 150 of them. I enjoyed that. It felt as if was giving each recipient a gift. But some see that as me bragging about the fact that I *can* make cards, that I have the time and resources. I know 150 cards sounds ridiculous. My husband has a large family. I have a large extended family. I moved a lot as a kid and have friends scattered all over the US. I want them to know that I am thinking of them, even if the card isn’t as personal as I’d like. I did write short notes in my cards to pen pals.
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Post by ginny on Dec 4, 2020 17:40:07 GMT
I am the American who sends out too many cards. My regular holiday cards include some family photos and a generic letter about how our year has been. It’s a way of catching up with the people who are not on social media. Most years I’ll sign them with a “merry Christmas or “happy new year” but this year I didn’t. I understand how that can feel impersonal but I didn’t have it in me this year. Plus, the photo cards didn’t have a good spot for signing. There are times when I receive cards with nothing personal written and think, “wow, was this just a chore to cross off of your list?” But then I am grateful to be included in their list. On the other side, I have also been teased for the fact that I take the time to hand-address my envelopes. When my kids were young, I used to make my cards, all 150 of them. I enjoyed that. It felt as if was giving each recipient a gift. But some see that as me bragging about the fact that I *can* make cards, that I have the time and resources. I know 150 cards sounds ridiculous. My husband has a large family. I have a large extended family. I moved a lot as a kid and have friends scattered all over the US. I want them to know that I am thinking of them, even if the card isn’t as personal as I’d like. I did write short notes in my cards to pen pals. It's interesting to see how we all approach this differently. Our respective families are small, and as for extended family - I have no idea where they are, with most of them I haven't been in touch for decades. So, no Christmas cards there.
150 cards does not sound 'ridiculous' to me. To me, It sounds like 'a lot of work', but then that's just me
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2020 5:22:04 GMT
I got my first Christmas card this week which was lovely....and the kick up the bum I needed to realise it was now December!!! I've been SO disorganised this year I'll be writing a few overseas ones this afternoon once I finish work and continuing during the week I don't write just a basic Merry Christmas etc but tend to put a wee note in too....which in my case tends to be around 4 pages long Apart from brother and sister-in-law we don't have any family to send to - my cards all tend to be to penpals and folk I know via snail mail
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Post by alcyone on Dec 7, 2020 15:37:27 GMT
Nearly every card I have received in my life, or seen displayed on someone's mantelpiece, has had a very short but heartfelt greeting. I don't think of them as being much like letters - in fact I am a little surprised when I find a letter written on a card -- then I have to reclassify the card and respond to it with another letter-card or a letter.
I've never judged a card because it was brief -- to me that is what a greeting card is for. In fact, many greeting cards have a sentiment already printed in them, and the sender personalizes with a brief comment.
I suppose this is cultural?
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