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Post by ginny on Feb 9, 2021 22:22:24 GMT
Just curious... how important is it for you to have pictures of your penfriends so you know what they look like? Also: are personal profile pics on penpal platforms prerequisite for you when you consider approaching someone (there are a lot of Ps in the first part of this sentence, as I just noticed... don't let that distract you, though )?
I'm wondering as I got into a conversation with someone on IG about this topic, and she seemed a bit taken aback that I have penfriends of whom I have absolutely no idea what they look like. It simply isn't important to me. It's nice to put a face to a name eventually, I think, and of course people are welcome to share pictures, but it's not something I'd expressly ask people for. If they want to send / share a photo, that's fun, but if not, then that's OK, and I won't ask.
So, my answers would be: a) not important, and b) no, not really.
I'd be interested to hear how you feel about that.
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Post by InsomniaQueen on Feb 9, 2021 22:28:19 GMT
Just curious... how important is it for you to have pictures of your penfriends so you know what they look like? Also: are personal profile pics on penpal platforms prerequisite for you when you consider approaching someone (there are a lot of Ps in the first part of this sentence, as I just noticed... don't let that distract you, though )?
I'm wondering as I got into a conversation with someone on IG about this topic, and she seemed a bit taken aback that I have penfriends of whom I have absolutely no idea what they look like. It simply isn't important to me. It's nice to put a face to a name eventually, I think, and of course people are welcome to share pictures, but it's not something I'd expressly ask people for. If they want to send / share a photo, that's fun, but if not, then that's OK, and I won't ask.
So, my answers would be: a) not important, and b) no, not really.
I'd be interested to hear how you feel about that.
I love receiving pictures, but I don't require it. I have no idea what most of my pen pals look like. I don't know what a photo is supposed to prove. If someone is going to lie to you about who they are, they aren't going to be honest with a photo, so it proves nothing and isn't some sort of safety if that's what someone is looking for. And, if someone only wants to write to people who look a certain way (whether that is a conscious decision or not), then shame on them.
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Post by Mia on Feb 9, 2021 22:47:49 GMT
Perhaps nice eventually... say, if you were to meet up somewhere, and instead of saying the person with a flower in the button hole, sitting at a table in a cafe writing letters with a sky-blue-pink Lamy fountain pen....
Perhaps seeing what someone looks like before you write can prejudice (or attract) you. I think at first glance, it can distract. Perhaps you see what is on the surface first (maybe tattoos, piercings, or in current times, badly cut/coloured/... hair, ...) rather than the words... I know some people don't like their photos taken, at times I'm one of them. I know some of you have seen what I look like and have heard my voice (one voiced thing I did, well, perhaps I should redo as I don't sound like that really).
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Post by Catida on Feb 10, 2021 6:25:06 GMT
How important is it for you to have pictures of your penfriends so you know what they look like? Not important at all. In fact I sort of prefer not to know, at least in the beginning. That way I can get to know their thoughts without any prejudice created by their looks. Of all my penfriends, only two have showed me their picture.
On the other hand, I've been thinking that having pictures of my penfriends might help my memory. I find it's easier to remember details about a person if you can connect them to a face.
Are personal profile pics on penpal platforms prerequisite for you when you consider approaching someone? Nope. But I confess that if there is a photo, it can affect my interest.. either way.
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Post by radellaf on Feb 10, 2021 7:22:46 GMT
I definitely prefer it, but it's clearly not that big a deal as 90% of my pals haven't sent one, and I haven't asked (and I think it would be impolite for me to ask). Most haven't sent any kind of photo of anything. A few people I've seen pics of on FB or IG. I've sent out quite a few photos (presuming that's OK) and I'd be really easy to find on FB.
I don't want to see to judge, just to, well, I'm used to having an idea what someone looks like when I'm talking to them, so it seems natural. I guess letters are different, though. Most people I don't even know how old they are. If I do find out, I often don't remember. I kinda feel bad about how little I do remember from letter to letter. Some people have written a lot with a lot of personal life/situation details that I do have an idea in my head. For people on here than can also be helped by posts here.
Photos and background don't seem to affect my enjoyment of reading and writing letters, tho, so in that way not very important.
What can also be interesting is what people's houses look like. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes people mention something about their house or lawn, garden, outbuildings, neighbors... and I've looked on google street view. Feels weird to do that but it seems "OK" to.
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Post by Catida on Feb 10, 2021 16:32:20 GMT
What can also be interesting is what people's houses look like. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes people mention something about their house or lawn, garden, outbuildings, neighbors... and I've looked on google street view. Feels weird to do that but it seems "OK" to. I sometimes feel tempted to do that too, but I've so far avoided it, thinking it could seem too weird! Like stalking..
I would very much like to know what others think of this? If your penpal would tell you they've been looking up your house/ neighborhood in Google street view, how would you feel like?
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Post by InsomniaQueen on Feb 10, 2021 22:00:04 GMT
What can also be interesting is what people's houses look like. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes people mention something about their house or lawn, garden, outbuildings, neighbors... and I've looked on google street view. Feels weird to do that but it seems "OK" to. I sometimes feel tempted to do that too, but I've so far avoided it, thinking it could seem too weird! Like stalking..
I would very much like to know what others think of this? If your penpal would tell you they've been looking up your house/ neighborhood in Google street view, how would you feel like?
Doesn't bother me. It is available out there in the public domain anyway, as is my address if someone were looking for it. So, if you want to see my house, Catida, go for it. I did have a weird experience once where someone got my phone number from Facebook and was texting me without identifying themselves. I have no idea who it was to this day, but I removed my number from Facebook. (I don't remember why I put it on there in the first place. Probably, it was autofilled by my browser.)
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Post by distractedmom on Feb 10, 2021 22:19:42 GMT
Such an interesting topic! I love to have a photo, a face to put with a name, but it's certainly not a requirement. While there's something fun about not knowing, I agree with Catida, it helps me with remembering details if I can recollect a face. Mia, I LOVED your IG videos where you speak. It made me happy to hear your voice. I have photos of myself all over IG, so I didn't see any point in NOT putting my face on here. I am sometimes quite naïve and never really thought about the fact that seeing a photo might influence someone. Too late now, for me! radellaf, I have looked up street views on Google Earth as well, sometimes feeling a little guilty about it. I do it to better understand the neighborhoods and towns in which my pen pals live. I have had pen pals draw maps for me. I love that. For the record, if any of you look up my street view, it's so old that my house doesn't look like that anymore!
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oregonclaire
Pencils
Posts: 96
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Global penpals welcome
Country I live in is: USA
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Post by oregonclaire on Feb 10, 2021 22:23:17 GMT
What can also be interesting is what people's houses look like. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes people mention something about their house or lawn, garden, outbuildings, neighbors... and I've looked on google street view. Feels weird to do that but it seems "OK" to. I sometimes feel tempted to do that too, but I've so far avoided it, thinking it could seem too weird! Like stalking..
I would very much like to know what others think of this? If your penpal would tell you they've been looking up your house/ neighborhood in Google street view, how would you feel like?
*looks guilty* Umm, so I do this too, sometimes. Although I'm less interested in what someone's actual house looks like and more just interested in what the area where they live looks like. But I also am really into maps and geography and place names etc. and so it's more a "hmm I wonder what that part of the world looks like" kind of thing. I wouldn't be bothered if anyone was looking up my house (Which, our road is way too small for street view but the satellite map is kind of cool)
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Post by stompie on Feb 11, 2021 4:11:29 GMT
What can also be interesting is what people's houses look like. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes people mention something about their house or lawn, garden, outbuildings, neighbors... and I've looked on google street view. Feels weird to do that but it seems "OK" to. I have done that. I have a pen pal, not on here, that lives out in the Arizona outback on a farm and I was intrigued by his description of the place so I went onto Google to have a look at the area as a whole.
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Post by Lupine on Feb 11, 2021 16:41:28 GMT
This topic is definitely interesting. I think I admitted to looking up a house to a pen pal, there was a reason for it. It feels just a little intrusive to look up people's addresses, but I am very well aware that others can easily see my house and my face with some pretty simple searches. It's okay with me. It makes sense to be curious. On the other hand, I count it as one of the funny little oddities of writing to strangers that we don't know what we look like or sound like, at least not originally. And yes, ginny , your reference to all the "p's" made me laugh and laugh.
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Post by ginny on Feb 11, 2021 17:31:50 GMT
This topic is definitely interesting. I think I admitted to looking up a house to a pen pal, there was a reason for it. It feels just a little intrusive to look up people's addresses, but I am very well aware that others can easily see my house and my face with some pretty simple searches. It's okay with me. It makes sense to be curious. On the other hand, I count it as one of the funny little oddities of writing to strangers that we don't know what we look like or sound like, at least not originally. And yes, ginny , your reference to all the "p's" made me laugh and laugh. Glad to hear you got a laugh out of that, Lupine
I don't think I ever posted a pic of myself publicly on the net, so my face isn't (or shouldn't be) in the public domain. I suppose that to me it's kind of 'normal' that you don't know what a penpal looks like, at least initially. That's how I grew up - I was a teen when I started corresponding in the late 70s, and it took over two years until my penfriend and I exchanged photos. We had tough choices to make sometimes - it was either buying stamps or having photos developed! Or saving up for the latest BeeGees album. You couldn't have it all!
I wouldn't be bothered if anybody had a look at the area where I live - that's OK, and as you say, it makes sense to be curious.
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Post by vertolive on Feb 12, 2021 0:11:25 GMT
I only have seen pictures of 3 of my pen pals and it doesn’t bother me at all. If anything, their forum avatar serves me well enough. I’m on the “cameraphobic “ end of the bell curve as far as my own photos go but we had a nice, professional set done for our funeral home website.
I will Google addresses when I can’t read them and want a correct version and don’t usually see the house itself. If you search for my house, it’s different color now inside and out. Beware of the dogs.
HOWEVER: I DO shamelessly stalk pen pals’ weather! I adore knowing all about your local climate. And I stay on top of it, eg, my longest running pen pal is dealing with 19 deg F and heavy cloud cover as I write this.
This may be weird.
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Post by emeraldscribbles on Feb 12, 2021 12:29:48 GMT
Just curious... how important is it for you to have pictures of your penfriends so you know what they look like? Also: are personal profile pics on penpal platforms prerequisite for you when you consider approaching someone.
Not important at all! If I receive a photo of a penpal, I just consider it a 'bonus'...I would never request a photo of them. I typically send along pictures with my letters of my recent hiking trips, my animals, etc. I'll occasionally send along a photo of myself, but I would feel weird sending just a picture of myself So it's normally me at a waterfall, me with a horse, etc.
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Post by Catida on Feb 12, 2021 16:42:57 GMT
Ha, I was just thinking that many in this topic mention they like to see a photo of their penpal, but would never ask. At the same time, I agree with emeraldscribbles that it would feel somehow weird to send a (portrait type) photo of myself, if not asked. So... you see where this leads to
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