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Post by distractedmom on Feb 15, 2021 21:32:24 GMT
DJW1066 posed this question in another thread. Meeting face-to-face takes the "do you need a photo of your pen pal" a step further. I'm curious what you all think, and what your experiences have been.
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Post by Gary S on Feb 15, 2021 23:34:10 GMT
I actually stayed with one pen pal for a week when we visited her area. She insisted as they had a two story house and were old enough they couldn't use the upstairs anymore so it had become sort of guest quarters for any of their friends in the area.
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Post by penguy on Feb 16, 2021 5:57:23 GMT
I've met four pen pals face to face. Two of them at pen club meetings, and two in Seattle when I've visited my daughter. I have really enjoyed the experience. The one pen pal and I always get together for coffee when I visit Seattle, have become good friends. There are some pen pals I wish I could talk to face to face but it is unlikely because we live so far apart, oceans between us.
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Post by hoyabella on Feb 16, 2021 6:17:54 GMT
Over the years, I met five penpals, three from Italy and two from other European countries. It was a nice experience and if there will be any chance, I'll be glad to meet them again and meet other penpals.
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Post by eefa on Feb 16, 2021 12:19:16 GMT
I feel I can't vote on this. I haven't and I don't know how I'd feel about it so my vote wouldn't be "No Way" or "No but I'd love to" I think my concern is that someone I get on well with on paper may enjoy chatting to me in person less and hence change our written relationship. Probably makes no sense and I don't think I'm clearly expressing how i feel about it but I would be anxious about it I think.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2021 19:30:02 GMT
I think my concern is that someone I get on well with on paper may enjoy chatting to me in person less and hence change our written relationship. I'd really like to to encourage you. As ginny wrote in another thread: My experience is the same. I've met penpals from all over Europe.
In, I think, 1989 when I was a naive teenager, I invited my Indonesian penpal. She was on her way to Canada and did a stop-over in the Netherlands to see her family there. I suggested that she gets on a train and spends a few days with me and my family. That's what she did. At least, she got on the train... and then I got a phone call: "Kalliope, I'm here at the border police; I had to leave the train. They're all very nice. But I can't come, because I don't have a visa for Germany." As I said, I was so naive.
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Post by ginny on Feb 16, 2021 21:07:26 GMT
I feel I can't vote on this. I haven't and I don't know how I'd feel about it so my vote wouldn't be "No Way" or "No but I'd love to" I think my concern is that someone I get on well with on paper may enjoy chatting to me in person less and hence change our written relationship. Probably makes no sense and I don't think I'm clearly expressing how i feel about it but I would be anxious about it I think. I'd encourage you to go for it if you have the chance. If you get the chance and don't go for it, you'll always ask yourself what would have happened That's at least how I'd feel.
I understand your feelings - besides being excited and happy, I'm also always a bag of nerves when I'm about to meet a penpal. But it's worth it, in my experience.
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Post by radellaf on Feb 16, 2021 22:27:10 GMT
I'd love to but I travel so little I can't imagine it happening. I'd offer my couch to any of you after the pandemic, but it ain't that great a couch. If I really wanted to make it happen, I could write the InCoWriMo person who's a block away down the same street I'm on. I haven't seen her in person yet. Wendy keeps up with my neighbors much more than I do.
A video conf would be really cool. I'd love to say hi to some of 5Q-ers.
Perhaps it's incongruous, but I also enjoy the "paper only" communications with months between exchanges (well on my side, weeks for most replies _to_ me). This forum has been a rewarding middle ground. Enough chat to be fun without "spoilers" about what's going on in everyone's life, to the point that letters would be redundant.
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Post by distractedmom on Feb 16, 2021 22:43:14 GMT
I feel I can't vote on this. I haven't and I don't know how I'd feel about it so my vote wouldn't be "No Way" or "No but I'd love to" I think my concern is that someone I get on well with on paper may enjoy chatting to me in person less and hence change our written relationship. Probably makes no sense and I don't think I'm clearly expressing how i feel about it but I would be anxious about it I think. eefa, I feel the same way. What if my voice is off-putting? Or my giggle? A very real concern would be that I am too boisterous and outgoing.
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Post by distractedmom on Feb 16, 2021 22:45:13 GMT
Oh, no @kalliope, your poor pen pal. Honestly, I would probably still be that naïve.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2021 7:10:36 GMT
Oh, no @kalliope , your poor pen pal. Honestly, I would probably still be that naïve. I still feel sorry and ashamed today.
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Post by stompie on Feb 17, 2021 13:23:01 GMT
I still feel sorry and ashamed today. Have you stayed in contract?
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Post by Catida on Feb 17, 2021 16:27:42 GMT
I voted "no way", because I have never met a penfriend. Still, I could consider doing so in the future. I have met a lot of Finnish online friends, though. Those meetings have often been a bit awkward, I guess because text based online communication attracts people who are not the best at expressing themselves face-to-face. (Me being one of them..) Or maybe that was more true when I was younger, before the real rise of social media. Still, nothing terrible happened, and some people I met became real friends to me
eefa, I think I understand what you mean. I have often worried meeting the person "in real life" will irreparably affect the relationship I had with them. And sometimes it did.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2021 7:20:21 GMT
I still feel sorry and ashamed today. Have you stayed in contract? Yes, we kept writing to each other for some more years, but eventually lost contact. I have been googling for her name for some years again and again, but haven't managed to find her.
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escorpio
Pencils
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Looking for Penpals?: Perhaps. It depends...
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Post by escorpio on Feb 18, 2021 7:52:57 GMT
10 years ago, my dad treated us to a trip to the US, with one stop in Seattle. Since I had (and still have) a penpal in Vancouver, as well as another friend of my husband, it only made sense to swing back Vancouver since we were so close. Unfortunately, my penpal was having a very busy period at work so we were only able to meet for breakfast one day. But it was lovely. We are both a bit introverted and I was nervous beforehand, but in the end it all worked out. Since at least one person is travelling, there is always that to discuss.
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