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Post by mailartist on Mar 23, 2020 16:28:08 GMT
When writing to someone who has cancer (for example), it might be smart to not write about the illness (you don't want your letter to add to their worry, but instead be an uplifting break, etc). But how does that work now, when everyone has an elephant in the room, and there's not much "routine life" to write about?
Upcoming vacations are question marks. Spring softball and pottery class are cancelled. Job stability, isn't. Even writing about the weather fails to do it, if, on the third day of spring, there's an inch of snow outside, and not a tulip in sight.
Are we better off these days just sending "Thinking of you" postcards, and being done with it?
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Post by christyotwisty on Mar 23, 2020 16:43:39 GMT
I wrote five letters this weekend. Four of them include what I've read, what I'm reading, how I'm keeping myself busy in The Great Confinement. Four of them mention my family's circumstance.
A subsection of correspondents are people who receive 5Q answers; some I've asked what topics are in their 'no-go' or 'no-no zones'.
Although I wrote a nine-page letter to someone intended to be only an InCoWriMo one-off; I don't know who's going to return to their InCoWriMo correspondents list to make use o their new leisure hours.
My regular year-round penfriends get the whole deal, they've helped establish a level of trust and rapport and shared personal, distressing news. But I warn them ahead of time, so they won't be jolted when the letter comes. However, I can't tell, twelve days earlier, which of my regular penfriends run households grappling with COVID-19 by the time my letter arrives. Some will have letters this week.
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oregonclaire
Pencils
Posts: 96
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Global penpals welcome
Country I live in is: USA
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Post by oregonclaire on Mar 23, 2020 18:26:01 GMT
This has definitely been an issue for me. With letters I wrote this weekend, some of them are replies to InCoWriMo letters I received last month, or replies to replies, in some cases. Regardless, for most of these, when the initial correspondence was started, life was essentially normal. Now, as I put it in my letters, everything has gone topsy-turvy. I've tried to not ignore the elephant (and actually called it the elephant in the room, in one letter!) by briefly talking about how uncertain everything has become, etc. but I also try not to dwell on the negative. I often use humor to diffuse my stress, but I'm also trying to be mindful of not seeming callous or indifferent. It's all such a balancing act. I think many (most? all?) of us are in uncharted territory. Upcoming plans/fun things was always one of my letter-writing prompts. Now I suppose I'm just picking out the tidbits of happy/good things that I want to share - which I'm also happy to receive.
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Post by Mia on Mar 23, 2020 19:27:39 GMT
I rarely write, "How are you?" as well, I think that is a question answered mostly with lies (early last month, I was definitely not fine - some of you might have heard me croaking on an instagram story or two). So instead, I either write, "I hope this finds you and your loved ones well" or "I hope this finds you and your loved ones doing OK"
I have mentioned the elephant - empty shelves and that. Certain things can carry on regardless - letter writing is "safe" other than paper cuts, stabbing self with pen, inky disasters...
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Post by motsamicaux on Mar 24, 2020 3:59:27 GMT
I would say to write about how life is now. After all, writing about "routine life" is... routine.... ...But how does that work now, when everyone has an elephant in the room, and there's not much "routine life" to write about?
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Post by alcyone on Mar 24, 2020 4:49:26 GMT
In these situations, I try to keep being who I am, be consistent with how I've interacted before, and keep some level of normalcy. For my part, when my world is falling apart, I like to hear about someone else's. Good or bad, hopefully good. Knowing there are constants.
If you know someone well enough, you can strike the right tone by being you.
If you are unsure, hang a lantern on it. Just say, look, I don't know how things are for you right now. If my letter is a bunch of noise you can't afford today because things are crazy or dire, set it aside as long you need to. If not, here are my quotidian streams of consciousness and I hope they offer you a few moments distraction.
We're humans, we're good at this. If we miss our mark, hopefully not by too much and an apology can mend things.
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Post by PhotoJim on Mar 25, 2020 18:01:10 GMT
I don't mind talking about the elephant. But I also don't mind if someone doesn't want to.
Even in our new unusual lives, there are still interesting things happening. Maybe you discovered new music or a good book or got sucked into a great TV series. Maybe you've been able to spend quality time with your family. Maybe you've had lots of time to think or to work on projects you'd been neglecting.
Maybe you're worried about paying the bills, and need to vent. That's okay too.
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Post by christyotwisty on Mar 27, 2020 15:09:01 GMT
Is it a faux pas to ask pen pals elsewhere to mail my letters to countries with which my nation has suspended delivery? For instance, would a USan penfriend mail for a Canadian a stamped envelope addressed to Denmark or Norway?
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Post by PhotoJim on Mar 27, 2020 16:16:51 GMT
Is it a faux pas to ask pen pals elsewhere to mail my letters to countries with which my nation has suspended delivery? For instance, would a USan penfriend mail for a Canadian a stamped envelope addressed to Denmark or Norway? No, if you're sure that second country will do that. I've occasionally done this under normal circumstances, but I just send an envelope full of other envelopes to my postmaster at the small Montana town where I have my PO box. They'll even put the surrounding envelope into my PO box so that I can get the stamps back for collecting purposes. I'd do that instead of sending to a friend. That way your friend doesn't need to rush out and mail your letter. Those that don't have post office boxes in the country they're relaying through, that doesn't matter. Pick a convenient town/city and mail to the postmaster there, and add a note saying what you're doing. "Canada is not routing mail to Norway at this time, so I'd like to relay this through your post office. Thank you and stay safe!"
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Post by christyotwisty on Mar 27, 2020 16:33:13 GMT
Is it a faux pas to ask pen pals elsewhere to mail my letters to countries with which my nation has suspended delivery? For instance, would a USan penfriend mail for a Canadian a stamped envelope addressed to Denmark or Norway? No, if you're sure that second country will do that. I've occasionally done this under normal circumstances, but I just send an envelope full of other envelopes to my postmaster at the small Montana town where I have my PO box. They'll even put the surrounding envelope into my PO box so that I can get the stamps back for collecting purposes. I'd do that instead of sending to a friend. That way your friend doesn't need to rush out and mail your letter. I called the US post office whose box I rent. They tell me that that is outside the scope of their duties, to open an envelope addressed to them and mail letters to countries currently under Canadian mail suspensions. I mentioned your case as an example, but even if I mailed a check drawn on US funds from a US bank to cover postage, the post office's bank is in Seattle, so they don't accept US checks as they can't cash them, I can't send US cash because US mail regulations, etc. Montana, I bet, has no pene-exclaves dependent on larger mail sorting centers and banks on a mainland.
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Post by Gary S on Mar 27, 2020 16:56:05 GMT
I would do it on a small scale, say a handful of letters every other week, but wouldn't want a second job as a postal forwarder. I think most regular pen pals would be willing to drop a letter or two off to a foreign country occasionally. I even have plenty of postage on hand so that we could just keep track of what was owed and then square up in US postage when things calmed down.
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Post by mailartist on Mar 27, 2020 18:48:26 GMT
Another option is to exchange email addresses, and (in the interim) send a pdf of the letter now, and "the real-deal" letter later.
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Post by mailartist on Mar 27, 2020 18:51:26 GMT
Is it a faux pas to ask pen pals elsewhere to mail my letters to countries with which my nation has suspended delivery? For instance, would a USan penfriend mail for a Canadian a stamped envelope addressed to Denmark or Norway? Remember that the USPS won't accept, for mailing, Canadian postage. It would have to be US postage on the envelope, for the US to mail it. But if it's prestamped with US postage already, it's probably not that big of a deal. The recipient just has to put the envelope in the mailbox, for next day pickup. With joblessness, and economies tanking the way they are, it might be problematic sending unstamped letters, and asking penpals to cover the postage for you on their end. Especially international.
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Post by penguy on Mar 27, 2020 19:50:57 GMT
I am trying to keep things fairly upbeat, not dwelling on the virus, talk about the changing weather, Spring , the books I am reading, pretty much the usual. Depending on who I am writing to I may say something about what we are doing regarding the virus but not dwelling on it. After seeing what people were saying about mail delivery I went out and did a little browsing and came upon the following site: about.usps.com/newsroom/service-alerts/international/welcome.htm . It was interesting the range of effects that the virus is having on mail service around the world.
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Post by katiel on Mar 28, 2020 0:38:43 GMT
Is it a faux pas to ask pen pals elsewhere to mail my letters to countries with which my nation has suspended delivery? For instance, would a USan penfriend mail for a Canadian a stamped envelope addressed to Denmark or Norway? Hey, it’s no problem if you want to send them this way. I’m assuming you still have lots of American postage, and are just looking for someone to pop them in an American mailbox? I’ll happily do that, as I put mail out every day anyway. If you need American postage or something else, shoot me a PM and we can work something out. If I’m still alive and kicking, they’ll get mailed.
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