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Post by Mia on Sept 19, 2017 22:43:01 GMT
I have received a few not so great letters, and I have a few ideas on why they were not great I will share a little later in this thread. What about you, what makes a letter stand out on the not-so-good side (excluding inappropriateness, unsolicited marriage proposals, very adult things that should not be revealed and should have stayed unwritten to you).
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Post by katiel on Sept 19, 2017 23:23:31 GMT
I don't like to complain, because I sort of feel like any letter is good mail, especially if they've taken the time to write an actual letter. But I was a little underwhelmed by the number of cards I got in February that simply said, "Dear Katie, Happy InCoWriMo! [signed]" Were those 5 or 6 words really worth the cost of the stamp? Sometimes they were cool anyway because they had used neat cards or stationary. But one I got was just written on a white sheet of printer paper in black ballpoint pen. Just those 6 words.
I appreciate the effort of reaching out, and like I said, any real mail is good mail. But I will admit that I found myself a bit disappointed when I would open the envelope and see that short message.
On a different note, I also got a strange letter from a guy that was the complete opposite. He acted like we had been life long friends and told stories about people I had no idea who they were, going places I had never heard of. Was Johnny a friend, cousin, brother, uncle? When they went to "Rick's" was that a friend's house, or a pub? It was never really clear. It was kind of like starting a book and realizing it must be the second book in the series because the author is acting like you already know the characters and setting. I don't know if I could call it a bad letter though. If I had known the people or places, the letter would have been awesome and newsy. But as it was, I just felt really confused when I finished reading it. It was tricky to respond to, and I never did hear back from him. But I'm not sure if that was because he realized it was a case of mistaken identity or simply because InCoWriMo ended.
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Post by Mia on Sept 19, 2017 23:28:38 GMT
I don't like to complain, because I sort of feel like any letter is good mail, especially if they've taken the time to write an actual letter. But I was a little underwhelmed by the number of cards I got in February that simply said, "Dear Katie, Happy InCoWriMo! [signed]" Were those 5 or 6 words really worth the cost of the stamp? Sometimes they were cool anyway because they had used neat cards or stationary. But one I got was just written on a white sheet of printer paper in black ballpoint pen. Just those 6 words. ... That's a common complaint over on Postcrossing. The postcard's message only includes the postcard id and Happy Postcrossing. There's a difference in, say, a postcard sent to you with the words, "Saw this and thought of you" or "just a quick note to say.... " to just general salutations.
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Post by katiel on Sept 19, 2017 23:32:00 GMT
I don't like to complain, because I sort of feel like any letter is good mail, especially if they've taken the time to write an actual letter. But I was a little underwhelmed by the number of cards I got in February that simply said, "Dear Katie, Happy InCoWriMo! [signed]" Were those 5 or 6 words really worth the cost of the stamp? Sometimes they were cool anyway because they had used neat cards or stationary. But one I got was just written on a white sheet of printer paper in black ballpoint pen. Just those 6 words. ... That's a common complaint over on Postcrossing. The postcard's message only includes the postcard id and Happy Postcrossing. There's a difference in, say, a postcard sent to you with the words, "Saw this and thought of you" or "just a quick note to say.... " to just general salutations. I totally agree! Short messages are great if they show some thought or intention toward the recipient. Especially something like "saw this and thought of you" where it shows you were on their mind (everyone likes to know they are being thought of, right?)
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Post by Mia on Sept 19, 2017 23:39:27 GMT
.... On a different note, I also got a strange letter from a guy that was the complete opposite. He acted like we had been life long friends and told stories about people I had no idea who they were, going places I had never heard of. Was Johnny a friend, cousin, brother, uncle? When they went to "Rick's" was that a friend's house, or a pub? It was never really clear. It was kind of like starting a book and realizing it must be the second book in the series because the author is acting like you already know the characters and setting. I don't know if I could call it a bad letter though. If I had known the people or places, the letter would have been awesome and newsy. But as it was, I just felt really confused when I finished reading it. It was tricky to respond to, and I never did hear back from him. But I'm not sure if that was because he realized it was a case of mistaken identity or simply because InCoWriMo ended. Sometimes I actually start a letter to a new person imagining we already know each other. Imagine you are in a queue at the supermarket and you talk to someone else in the queue. You don't start with "My name is..." but may mention the weather, the supermarket, and that. However, if you had difficulty responding, then that could mean the letter is not great. Imagine a teenage "Whatever" on being asked something.. "So what?"
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Post by erin on Sept 20, 2017 2:17:53 GMT
I've really had to think about this. I've only received a few boring/awkward letters (I think all letters are a source of happiness so I don't think I'd categorize any as bad). One was someone who had written me a letter in really HUGE letters on paper torn from a spiral notebook. There were 3 pages written on one side only and then messily folded and put into a small stationary envelope. So the letter was lumpy and odd to begin with. But the message itself... it was like she was a grade schooler tasked with writing 500 words on her day. "It was a really, really, really boring day I made very, very, very spicy meatloaf which no one ate. etc"
It was a really, really boring letter. What to reply? (ummm...full disclosure, I wrote back with a postcard) I did realize though that she was a penpal collector and so probably had to write 20 letters a day to keep up. It probably was a chore to write....
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Post by sails on Sept 20, 2017 22:46:06 GMT
I've been guilty of hurriedness and distraction, so I can't point fingers.
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mskafka
Crayons
Posts: 40
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Global penpals welcome
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Post by mskafka on Sept 21, 2017 9:50:09 GMT
I don't think there are bad letters for me. If someone takes the time to sit down, write and think of me I can't complain about that person. We all go through stressing periods in our lives. I've been quiet for a very long time. Some might accuse me of being a bad pen pal, but if they knew what happened to my family in the past months they would probably change their minds about me. If I get a too short letter, or too "superficial", I don't consider it a bad letter, I know that my friend is busy or going through bad times. Not everybody tells when they have problems, especially if they're too personal. I've been guilty of that too. I have pen pals who don't have kids, or who are retired and have all their free time for themselves. And I have pen pals with 3 or more children and a full time job. It's usually the ones without kids or the ones who are retired the ones who complain more to me about my letters when they're too short or not regular. I've had a couple of pen pals who demanded long, regular letters and when I didn't manage to send one per month they asked me what was wrong with me. Penpalling is not a job, it shouldn't be stressing. There's a real life besides letters and well, some of us might write bad letters sometimes Also, if I told here about letters I didn't like, I would feel as if I was gossiping about those pen pals, and I don't feel too comfortable with that.
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Post by Mia on Sept 21, 2017 15:50:25 GMT
I've been guilty of hurriedness and distraction, so I can't point fingers. These don't necessarily mean the letter is a bad one.
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Post by Mia on Sept 21, 2017 16:02:44 GMT
I suppose for me, a bad letter is one you find difficult to respond to, excluding those with bad/sad news (death, illness... in the family). Boring letters perhaps, not that my penpals need to live exciting lives 24/7, but ones also all about the sender showing little or no interest in you. I don't write many questions in letters, but there should be something for a penpal to comment on, just as you do in spoken conversation.
Perhaps also letters that you can barely read, even if the handwriting is neat (there was one letter I received a few years back in a calligraphic script I found difficult to decipher), however some handwriting style take time to be able to understand and the letter needs to be read more than once.
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Post by sails on Sept 21, 2017 16:04:21 GMT
I don't think there are bad letters for me. If someone takes the time to sit down, write and think of me I can't complain about that person. We all go through stressing periods in our lives. I've been quiet for a very long time. Some might accuse me of being a bad pen pal, but if they knew what happened to my family in the past months they would probably change their minds about me. If I get a too short letter, or too "superficial", I don't consider it a bad letter, I know that my friend is busy or going through bad times. Not everybody tells when they have problems, especially if they're too personal. I've been guilty of that too. I have pen pals who don't have kids, or who are retired and have all their free time for themselves. And I have pen pals with 3 or more children and a full time job. It's usually the ones without kids or the ones who are retired the ones who complain more to me about my letters when they're too short or not regular. I've had a couple of pen pals who demanded long, regular letters and when I didn't manage to send one per month they asked me what was wrong with me. Penpalling is not a job, it shouldn't be stressing. There's a real life besides letters and well, some of us might write bad letters sometimes Also, if I told here about letters I didn't like, I would feel as if I was gossiping about those pen pals, and I don't feel too comfortable with that. Ooooo....now, complaining about letters to the one who wrote them is something I would consider Bad Form.
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Post by Mia on Sept 21, 2017 18:27:40 GMT
I've really had to think about this. I've only received a few boring/awkward letters (I think all letters are a source of happiness so I don't think I'd categorize any as bad). One was someone who had written me a letter in really HUGE letters on paper torn from a spiral notebook. There were 3 pages written on one side only and then messily folded and put into a small stationary envelope. So the letter was lumpy and odd to begin with. But the message itself... it was like she was a grade schooler tasked with writing 500 words on her day. "It was a really, really, really boring day I made very, very, very spicy meatloaf which no one ate. etc" It was a really, really boring letter. What to reply? (ummm...full disclosure, I wrote back with a postcard) I did realize though that she was a penpal collector and so probably had to write 20 letters a day to keep up. It probably was a chore to write.... I have had a penpal like that. I still have her letters.
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Post by radellaf on Sept 21, 2017 22:11:22 GMT
Also, if I told here about letters I didn't like, I would feel as if I was gossiping about those pen pals, and I don't feel too comfortable with that. Just withhold the names to protect the guilty. Haven't received any "bad" ones, but anyone who wants more than 3 (or 2... or 1) a year isn't gonna like me. If you need that much correspondence, get more people to write to. The 5Q does help a lot, though I've been replying to some who are still active here but haven't posted any Q for more than 6 months. Main thing I try to avoid to stay interesting is too much geek talk in any one area - I don't wanna do a "Sheldon Cooper". Unless I know the person is a bona fide FPGeek, in which case I'll let loose. Only had one who I was comfortable getting into much tech/computers with. Right now looking at the pile for one I can comfortably reply to with mostly black ink in an italic nib. First one I pulled was from an Ink-O-phile, so not that one.
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Post by alcyone on Sept 22, 2017 4:06:55 GMT
All my penpals are awesome so maybe I'm the problem . I don't really get any bad letters as such, though some suffer from poor record-keeping at the other end and ask the same question as 3 letters ago. I answer them all over again as if it's the first time I read them because I'm just thrilled to have a penpal. And I don't re-read much so I am sure I do the same.
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Post by radellaf on Sept 22, 2017 4:15:49 GMT
some suffer from poor record-keeping at the other end and ask the same question as 3 letters ago I usually only read one or maybe two letters back, so I suppose I could do that. Generally just trying to figure out whether I covered a topic at all and usually on the side of what I'm writing about rather than questions I'm asking. Musta been some dupes in 5Q by now. Trying to avoid them makes every month harder. I do have records, but not all together. Mostly use them to see if anyone wrote some 5Q I missed, or when I get answers where the person doesn't remind me of the questions.
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