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Post by distractedmom on Dec 4, 2016 5:31:33 GMT
My common reason is my heath But I'm getting there Hope all is well, Steph!
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Post by distractedmom on Dec 4, 2016 5:31:51 GMT
My common reason is my heath But I'm getting there Hope all is well, Steph!
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Post by ladytiger7647 on Dec 4, 2016 23:54:19 GMT
I lost pen pals for many reasons: pen pal 1- because I forgot her birthday. pen pal 2- because we had common pen pals and I wrote to someone else first. pen pal 3- because I never commented on her pictures on Facebook. pen pal 4- because we met in person and it was a disaster. pen pal 5- because she found me boring. pen pal 6- because he "fell in love" with me. pen pal 7- because his wife didn't like that he wrote to me. I have many other stories, but I'll leave them for another time #4: How awful! I've gotten famously along with the two I've met. Stayed at the one's house for two weeks this summer. We're good friends and have been in contact for at least 5 years. The other is a forum member and I had lots of fun meeting up with him, his wife, and daughter over the summer (we went stationery shopping ). #5: Oh dear...sorry no everyone is a member of the CIA going on secret missions, flying around the world, and riding on gondolas.
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Post by ladytiger7647 on Dec 4, 2016 23:56:28 GMT
My common reason is my heath But I'm getting there Whenever I get a letter from you I find it as a sign of you feeling well that particular day. I'm flattered as well that you decided to use that time to write to me.
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mskafka
Crayons
Posts: 40
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Global penpals welcome
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Post by mskafka on Dec 5, 2016 6:51:46 GMT
My common reason is my heath But I'm getting there All the best, Steph. Sometimes health issues come on our way. The most important thing in those moments is to get better. I'm sure your friends understand.
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mskafka
Crayons
Posts: 40
Looking for Penpals?: Yes. Global penpals welcome
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Post by mskafka on Dec 5, 2016 6:56:45 GMT
I lost pen pals for many reasons: pen pal 1- because I forgot her birthday. pen pal 2- because we had common pen pals and I wrote to someone else first. pen pal 3- because I never commented on her pictures on Facebook. pen pal 4- because we met in person and it was a disaster. pen pal 5- because she found me boring. pen pal 6- because he "fell in love" with me. pen pal 7- because his wife didn't like that he wrote to me. I have many other stories, but I'll leave them for another time #4: How awful! I've gotten famously along with the two I've met. Stayed at the one's house for two weeks this summer. We're good friends and have been in contact for at least 5 years. The other is a forum member and I had lots of fun meeting up with him, his wife, and daughter over the summer (we went stationery shopping ). #5: Oh dear...sorry no everyone is a member of the CIA going on secret missions, flying around the world, and riding on gondolas. It's funny, because what actually bored her were my stories about my journeys The problem when I met #4 met in person was, that she was completely different from the girl I had met through letters. She was moody, quiet, everything I said or suggested made her upset. We met in the Netherlands, it was my first time there but it was her 10th, so she was complaining all the time because she had already visited this or that place and I wanted to see everything. She was never hungry or thirsty and didn't like it when I stopped to buy lunch (how annoying, right? That a girl needs to eat ). I was so relieved when we said goodbye. A week later I sent her a long letter to tell her I can't keep on corresponding with her after that. Her reaction showed me I didn't need a person like that in my life. Let's say I was happy there were 800 km between us.
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Post by hoyabella on Dec 26, 2016 17:55:22 GMT
Only a few times ma former penpals explained why they were stopping writing: * one stopped after she opened a Facebook account; * another penpal's life "got complicated in every possible way"; * one had no more time; * another stopped because I did not want to send her stamps back; * yet another because she didn't receive my last letter (in which I explained why some experience of mine lead me to believe differently from her in an, evidently, sensitive topic - hint, hint), after I emailed her, she replied that in the while she had assumed more committments and could not write any more... * but most times (many times) they simply stopped writing without notice, the worst was when the letter to my penfriend of about 16-17 years was returned because the recipiente did not live at that address (which was written correctly...); I have some ideas in some of other cases but mostly I am clueless. I add that I almost never inquired, because I thought we hadn't enough in common to build a friendships. There are only a couple of women which I regret not having contacted after their silence but I am mostly afraid it seems I am pushing them... Once it was me who wrote a goodbye letter to a penpal (not something I have fine all the times I wanted to stop a correspondence, shame on me) and she was so kind as to send me a card thanking me for letting her know and inviting me to write again if I ever wanted to (and could) reconnect. So appreciated đ
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Post by nashtah on Jan 7, 2017 14:59:06 GMT
I have to say that I'm probably in a particularly bad situation as based on letters and then right and being part of an international service I have found someplace between 10 and 5% of my mail does not actually arrive. As such it's probably mainly me who just doesn't write back because I never received the letter. How mother to friends whom I write to pretty constantly without waiting for a reply the penpal thing works well.
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Post by Mia on Apr 11, 2017 13:38:48 GMT
I just got dropped by someone in Ireland and I had spend time sending a Christmas package and sending a birthday card and writing back quickly as in two weeks turn around time. She claimed that she was cutting back pen pals and because I was aboard she dropped me. Yet she could afford to take trips over here (USA) and suddenly not afford the postage! âšī¸ I think that I would much rather have someone just evaporate into thin air than write me a message. She was just weird and kinda rude in the end. I deserve better and deserve someone who will want to be friends with me and still write me because they like me! đ I think I prefer the evaporate into thin air - then, there is hope as perhaps the letter got lost to/from you, and perhaps in time, you/they will try to reconnect. I've reconnected a couple of times - their lives got busy for a while. I got busy for a while starting 2001-2 and only kept contact with one via Christmas cards but although I did think about writing sooner, I found the words difficult... it was about 2007 I wrote to him again and we've had an occasional correspondence since. I went on a walk Saturday, ending up in the pub while my husband walked to get the car a couple of miles away. I was ordering my drinks when in came someone I had known from my Welsh class in 2002-3 and hadn't seen for at least 10 years. We had a good chat. Life can take you away for a while, and then brings you back at unexpected moments. The friendship is still there, but it'll probably be a year or more till I bump into her again.
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Post by distractedmom on Apr 11, 2017 14:10:22 GMT
I've had a couple evaporate into thin air recently. I'm not offended. I know that life gets crazy. I think the evaporating is easier. If I got a letter explaining why they didn't want to write any more, I would feel obligated to reply. I am struggling with the one because I am fairly certain I accidentally offended them. But if I didn't, I don't want to write an apology letter and draw attention to my faux pas. Does that make sense?
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Post by mailartist on Apr 11, 2017 16:52:59 GMT
I've had a couple evaporate into thin air recently. I'm not offended. I know that life gets crazy. I think the evaporating is easier. If I got a letter explaining why they didn't want to write any more, I would feel obligated to reply. Ditto, for me as well. If February is InCoWriMo, then maybe April is the opposite? (Break-up month?) In fact, I received a "don't want to write any more" note just yesterday , and I replied with a brief postcard, thanking this person for letting me know; acknowledging that I will honor that request (i.e., will retire their correspondence to my inactive file); letting them know that my mailbox will continue to be open should things change; that no response was needed to the final postcard I had sent; and making a remark along the lines that I was glad this correspondent was, in fact, still alive, and not dead. (Seriously: I even went to searching online to see if there was an obituary in the town for this letter-writer. I was so certain that if I wasn't getting letters anymore, it was because something tragic had happened.) But it was clear that something tragic had happened (just not death), since there was a curt "this is my last letter" without any sort of explanation as to why. I am not sure why the sudden drop, but I also think that, with the Internet and such, that relationships are far more ephemeral than they used to be. At the first sign of a misunderstanding or confusion, people don't want to ask. They simply "unfriend" or "exclude" and go to some other site, where there are multitudes of "friends" waiting -- all equally expendable. It may also be that the Internet attracts folks who are relationship-challenged: it's the appearance of "friends" without any of the messy hassle of having to realize that not everybody thinks/talks/walks like you. (Personally, I like having a few "different" penpals who are confident in "their different-ness." It adds spice to my life, and makes me realize that I'm not the only one on the planet.)
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Post by mailartist on Apr 11, 2017 17:02:12 GMT
Caz wrote: "I only have one US pen pal/friend because I have a hard time writing to other Americans because I have met too many with issues. Or they make fun of me." Sorry about the "making fun." Nobody should be made to feel rejected or discounted. As for the "too many Americans with issues," I have "issues" myself (who doesn't, to some degree? The idea is to, over time, have fewer of them -- to take them to "issue training," so they can learn to wear a collar, and to sit and heel -- but that takes time.) As for domestic vs. international penpals, I have had far less luck keeping foreign penpals for more than a letter or two. I think the delay in transit is a big impediment, as it the cost for a stamp. In some countries, sending a letter overseas costs $4, and some people just can't afford that day after day. That's part of the reason why I stopped Postcrossing after a while, because the cost soon became prohibitive for what I was getting back in return. (Since I can mail a letter for the same price as a postcard, why not send the extra information?)
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Post by mailartist on Apr 11, 2017 17:11:17 GMT
I will have to say, too, that when I got the "don't want to write you" card, I initially felt like I never wanted to send another letter, to anyone, ever again, etc., go away, lick my boo-hoo wounds -- all that. Seriously, it hurts! . . . even though I may want to believe it doesn't.
HOWEVER, I also believe that if one horse bucks you off, there'll be another coming along the way. I get back in the saddle, because who wants to quit when being "on the bottom"?
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Post by joy52 on Apr 11, 2017 18:59:47 GMT
Haven't had that problem. So far people keep writing as do I and it is a lot of fun. Trust we are all mature enough to say when someone has offended us in any way. I think we should as the other party might not even be aware of having done anything wrong.
I take it we are talking ADULTS not TEENAGERS.
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Post by distractedmom on Apr 11, 2017 19:07:02 GMT
I've had a couple evaporate into thin air recently. I'm not offended. I know that life gets crazy. I think the evaporating is easier. If I got a letter explaining why they didn't want to write any more, I would feel obligated to reply. (Seriously: I even went to searching online to see if there was an obituary in the town for this letter-writer. I was so certain that if I wasn't getting letters anymore, it was because something tragic had happened.) I did the same thing. And that's when I discovered my mistake. I had a pen pal with a gender-neutral name and had assumed the wrong gender...I'm horrified and wish I had scanned the letters so I'd know how badly I put my foot in my mouth.
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