|
Post by kansaskyle on Oct 19, 2015 21:40:00 GMT
I'm new to this whole penpal thing. I just started corresponding with three guys, plus I joined in on the Traveling Journal for Yanks.
I jotted down some info on a notecard to help me remember what they shared in their letters/journal entries (e.g., address, age, marital status, employment, pen, paper, inks, etc.). I figure over time, I'll just remember, but it is kind of helpful getting started.
Is it weird to ask for a picture? I thought it might be nice to 'look' at the person I was writing to since I've not met them in real life. Looks don't matter in the long run I guess, but I thought it might be neat to 'see' them as I write.
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Oct 19, 2015 22:08:18 GMT
I haven't ever asked for a photograph, though once in awhile people have sent me one anyway. I do keep old letters to refer back to if I want. I guess it's just a matter of personal preference. Some people might be put off by a photo request though, especially if they are not confident in body image, or perhaps if they are a woman who is leery of potentially... inappropriate attention, shall we say. Personally I'd probably wait until you have exchanged a few letters and feel you have some level of rapport before asking.
|
|
|
Post by Mia on Oct 19, 2015 22:32:39 GMT
I know some people do have a card file - sometimes they send out the card to penpals to fill in. Personally, I don't bother although for some penpals, I printed out their profile (from whichever site I found them on), and have that at the front of my storage solution for that penpal. I no longer have a printer so can't do this for newer penpals at the moment.
As for photos, I do not ask for them, but I've occasionally sent photos of myself (drowned rat next to a gold postbox, or drowned rat at the top of a mountain in "great" visibility). Sometimes I think the lens would break if a photo was taken of me. My son hides away from having his photo taken if he can see it coming.
|
|
|
Post by MrAndersen on Oct 20, 2015 7:16:25 GMT
I don't really note down anything apart from name, address and birthday if I happen to know it, but I suppose I might make a note if there's any special topic I want to remember chatting about. I'm an academic at heart, so while I don't always remember details, I tend to have a pretty good idea of where I saw those details explained. Then I just read back the relevant letter or what have you.
I do know people doing exactly what you describe with just about all their acquaintances, not just the pen-pally sort. It's probably down to personality.
Photos, I personally wouldn't. I'm with Mia's son, if there's a camera nearby, I try not to be. Not for any reasons of self-loathing or sense of inadequacy, mind you, I just feel the same way having my picture taken that I do when people read over my shoulder or something. Like people are trying to look past me and discern what I'm doing. I'm not too keen on being 'observed'. My wife, on the other hand, is virtually posing and smiling the instant someone pulls out a smartphone, and has huge bulging albums full of everyone she knows. I think people of the picture-snapping variety will be prone to sending you pictures of their own accord, and the rest of us would probably rather you not ask too directly - It might feel a little pushy from someone you don't really know yet.
|
|
|
Post by chojo on Oct 20, 2015 18:32:31 GMT
I don't but I should, my memory is awful and I mean truly awful. If we had pop quiz on our pen pals I couldn't answer a single question unless i had my box of letters to refer to. I wouldn't ask for a photograph, I know on another forum they had a getting to know you thread where people could post a picture of them selves and a few details about their lives, funny thing was my incoming mail reduced after I posted my photo!
|
|
|
Post by DJW1066 on Oct 22, 2015 16:57:04 GMT
I wouldn't ask for a picture, in part because I'm somewhat picture-phobic myself. And there's something liberating about not being constrained by how a person might really look, and just using one's imagination; like reading a book vs seeing the movie.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2015 21:47:50 GMT
I know some people do have a card file - sometimes they send out the card to penpals to fill in. Personally, I don't bother although for some penpals, I printed out their profile (from whichever site I found them on), and have that at the front of my storage solution for that penpal. That's the methods I use too for my regular pals - an A4 sheet with their name, address, birthday, husband & children's names if applicable, pets they have etc. I also copy their profile (all three having been made via Month Of Letters in 2013 and 2014) and this goes below their name & address but above their other info
|
|
|
Post by sharmon202 on Oct 24, 2015 9:27:05 GMT
I probably would not send a picture if it was requested. If I need to remember something I look it up in an older letter since that is generally the only source available.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2015 21:44:25 GMT
Photos of me are few and far between to be honest I'll often wait until I have around 100 photos on my digital camera and I'll then take it along to my local camera shop and get them to print them out so I can put them into an album (I'm old fashioned that way). The first couple of times the photos were about 99% cats but now I'm not as 'crazy cat lady'.....it's only 90% cats and 10% my allotment Very rarely will Neil actually remember to take a photo of me when we are out and about....and then he complains that he hasn't got many photos of me! This is one of the few of me *cringe* Taken at Kielder Forest in May 2011....don't look at the messy hair (there'd been a brief rain shower earlier in the day and my naturally wavy hair just went all to pot!) or the fact that I desperately needed my roots done
|
|
|
Post by sharmon202 on Oct 30, 2015 7:50:31 GMT
Photos of me are few and far between to be honest I'll often wait until I have around 100 photos on my digital camera and I'll then take it along to my local camera shop and get them to print them out so I can put them into an album (I'm old fashioned that way). The first couple of times the photos were about 99% cats but now I'm not as 'crazy cat lady'.....it's only 90% cats and 10% my allotment Very rarely will Neil actually remember to take a photo of me when we are out and about....and then he complains that he hasn't got many photos of me! This is one of the few of me *cringe* Taken at Kielder Forest in May 2011....don't look at the messy hair (there'd been a brief rain shower earlier in the day and my naturally wavy hair just went all to pot!) or the fact that I desperately needed my roots done Nice pic, you guys look happy.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2015 20:33:45 GMT
We were If I remember rightly it was a week off work and we spent this particular day at Kielder Forest. Neil had a new camera and was just trying it out and jokingly held it at arm's length (this was before 'selfies' caught on and everyone started doing them ) and I nipped in too....which was most unlike me as I normally try to avoid cameras Perhaps I was just completely chilled out after that walk in the forest
|
|
|
Post by penguy on Mar 8, 2018 19:06:44 GMT
I would not send a photo of myself nor would I ask for someone to send one of themselves. I often send photos but usually of the landscape around my home or something I've talked about in a letter. If someone sends me a photo of their family I might send one in return but most likely that would be after back and forth letter writing for a couple of years when we know each other. One reason I don't want to include a photo of my self, especially in one of the first letters, is that I don't want to scare them off!
|
|
|
Post by distractedmom on Mar 8, 2018 22:38:07 GMT
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Sometimes, I am tempted to google my penpals so that I have a face to go with the name, but I stop myself because there is a magic to NOT knowing what my penpals look like. I do follow some of you on Instagram, and I get a real kick out of hearing Mia speak on her videos. If someone asked for a photo, I'm not sure how I'd feel about it. Then again, I have my photo on my profile here, so y'all already know what I look like. I've also been debating starting a file of "PenPal Pertinent Information." I'd include things like birthdays and names of significant others, to help save myself the embarrassment of asking about the wrong spouse or child.
|
|
|
Post by Gary S on Mar 9, 2018 1:57:11 GMT
I personally assign each of you some movie star's face in my head and to be honest I get a little miffed when I find out that isn't really you. That's not a big deal because I quickly forget having seen your real photo and we're off again. It isn't even always the same movie star as I forget who I've assigned to whom after I forget to write for a while. I generally choose someone I've recently seen in some old movie I've recently watched whose face seems like it would go with your particular writing style. I usually go with well dressed stars who wear tuxes and evening gowns so don't worry that you're under dressed for any party you are describing in your letters.
I usually don't send out photos period. It isn't an aversion to my looks, I've actually posted my face on several websites, but rather the fact that every picture of me is now on my computer or phone and I can never remember to get some real photos printed up. As to profiling pen pals I try to keep my stalking to a minimum when possible. I just go with what little I can recall and if I'm really in doubt I pull out a few old letters and give them a re read. Most of what I'm reading again is totally new to me and just as interesting as when I read it the first time. Being forgetful does have some perks you see.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2018 8:10:12 GMT
Does "profiling" refer to photos only? We usually use the (English) word in context with creating psychological profiles of criminals.
|
|