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Post by michelleg on Nov 12, 2020 14:13:05 GMT
While I do enjoy receiving goodies, I also find that it puts pressure on the recipient. Me too. I have been also wondering if it is correct to "forward" to someone else the goodies I have received. I am keeping all the stickers (sharing them with my daughter) because sometimes I use for decorating my letters but I am not really into crafts and "ephemera" are not my thing. Also, even if I like postcards, I don't keep them all and I would like to send some, I have enjoyed them long enough. This is why at some point in my correspondence (and in all my relationships, actually), I ask what my friends' love language is - both giving and receiving. It has helped me tremendously in all my relationships. As for the language of gift giving, I was always taught to accept gifts graciously, whether I liked the gift or not, because to do so was really to accept the affection and thought the giver put into it. But I think it's entirely okay to re-gift things ~ if I didn't, I would need a storage unit to house everything I've ever received in my lifetime. ;-) <3
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Post by distractedmom on Nov 12, 2020 15:08:57 GMT
The app would be convenient and potentially provide a wide pool of pen pals. But I would be concerned that it would be too much like a dating site. Or invite dating site kinds of behaviors. Not having any experience with dating sites whatsoever, I have to admit that this makes me wonder: What do you consider 'dating site kinds of behaviours', distractedmom ? I haven't had any dating site experience either, but my best friend from high school has horror stories to share. I worry that people might be looking for more than friendship.
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Post by jamberrychoux on Nov 12, 2020 16:41:37 GMT
I haven't had any dating site experience either, but my best friend from high school has horror stories to share. I worry that people might be looking for more than friendship. I have heard some good stories about the dating site experience with people end in up being happily married as a result, but I have heard more horror stories than good ones! I can't imagine what it must be like to have this be the primary way of meeting people to date these days.
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Post by ginny on Nov 12, 2020 17:18:11 GMT
While I do enjoy receiving goodies, I also find that it puts pressure on the recipient. Me too. I have been also wondering if it is correct to "forward" to someone else the goodies I have received. I am keeping all the stickers (sharing them with my daughter) because sometimes I use for decorating my letters but I am not really into crafts and "ephemera" are not my thing. Also, even if I like postcards, I don't keep them all and I would like to send some, I have enjoyed them long enough. I don't think there's anything wrong with forwarding goodies to someone who might enjoy them. It's surely better than letting them sit in a drawer. That's at least how I see it. I sometimes share samples of washi tape or stickers with others, and they are free to forward them if they have no use for them.
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Post by Catida on Nov 12, 2020 19:50:10 GMT
I have been also wondering if it is correct to "forward" to someone else the goodies I have received. I am keeping all the stickers (sharing them with my daughter) because sometimes I use for decorating my letters but I am not really into crafts and "ephemera" are not my thing. Also, even if I like postcards, I don't keep them all and I would like to send some, I have enjoyed them long enough. I think it's totally okay, and very common too, to give forward the "extras" you don't have use for. I get a lot of extras from the swaps I participate, and those I don't have use for I let my kids use for their crafts, or store them so that I can send them to someone else.
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Post by Catida on Nov 12, 2020 19:54:34 GMT
Me too. I have been also wondering if it is correct to "forward" to someone else the goodies I have received. I am keeping all the stickers (sharing them with my daughter) because sometimes I use for decorating my letters but I am not really into crafts and "ephemera" are not my thing. Also, even if I like postcards, I don't keep them all and I would like to send some, I have enjoyed them long enough. This is why at some point in my correspondence (and in all my relationships, actually), I ask what my friends' love language is - both giving and receiving. It has helped me tremendously in all my relationships. As for the language of gift giving, I was always taught to accept gifts graciously, whether I liked the gift or not, because to do so was really to accept the affection and thought the giver put into it. But I think it's entirely okay to re-gift things ~ if I didn't, I would need a storage unit to house everything I've ever received in my lifetime. ;-) <3 That is a very clever thing to do! Some people just enjoy giving gifts to others, and they are not expecting to get something back (at least not anything material). Although sometimes I wonder if some of the people who add a lot of extras are really just trying to get rid of stuff rather than trying to make the recipient happy
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Post by penguy on Nov 13, 2020 6:14:07 GMT
You may have to keep track of who you received things from lest you send it back to them and hurt their feelings by apparently not appreciating the gift they gave. I have received tea a number of times and usually prepare their tea when I'm writing a reply, sort of like we are sharing a conversation over a cup of tea, I like that idea. You could never have that happen with an app.
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Post by eefa on Nov 13, 2020 17:54:31 GMT
You may have to keep track of who you received things from lest you send it back to them and hurt their feelings by apparently not appreciating the gift they gave. I have received tea a number of times and usually prepare their tea when I'm writing a reply, sort of like we are sharing a conversation over a cup of tea, I like that idea. You could never have that happen with an app. Oh I love that idea of drinking gifted tea when writing a response. I may do that as coincidentally I have just opened a letter which has some some Moroccan Style mind green tea included (thank you Rouge )
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Post by filpot on Nov 15, 2020 16:48:49 GMT
I haven't had any dating site experience either, but my best friend from high school has horror stories to share. I worry that people might be looking for more than friendship. I have heard some good stories about the dating site experience with people end in up being happily married as a result, but I have heard more horror stories than good ones! I can't imagine what it must be like to have this be the primary way of meeting people to date these days. distractedmom, ginny, This thread is amusing me greatly, as mu husband of 14 years and I met on a dating site!! Yes, the whole thing was still relatively new at the time, and I've heard horror stories too, but the dating site leading to email had one huge advantage for me - I found out that he could spell, punctuate, and produce an interesting sentence before I ever heard his voice or set eyes on him. Most important!! I probably wouldn't be hugely attracted by Quasimodo's double, but Robert Redford who couldn't spell wouldn't do it for me either!!
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Post by InsomniaQueen on Nov 15, 2020 19:44:02 GMT
I have heard some good stories about the dating site experience with people end in up being happily married as a result, but I have heard more horror stories than good ones! I can't imagine what it must be like to have this be the primary way of meeting people to date these days. distractedmom , ginny , This thread is amusing me greatly, as mu husband of 14 years and I met on a dating site!! Yes, the whole thing was still relatively new at the time, and I've heard horror stories too, but the dating site leading to email had one huge advantage for me - I found out that he could spell, punctuate, and produce an interesting sentence before I ever heard his voice or set eyes on him. Most important!! I probably wouldn't be hugely attracted by Quasimodo's double, but Robert Redford who couldn't spell wouldn't do it for me either!! I met my husband on a social media site. It wasn't exactly a dating site, but it had a flirty way of participating. We DM'd on the site, then texted, then phoned. Eventually he drove 490 miles to take me out to dinner. We hit it off and have been together for almost 13 years. I learned that he could use language articulately, was very intelligent, and he never sent me a shirtless (or lower) picture. (I also did some due diligence investigation - he worked where he said he did, his family lived where he said they did, he lived where he said he did, etc.) I probably investigated him far better than I would have someone whom I met in person elsewhere.
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Post by distractedmom on Nov 16, 2020 1:29:28 GMT
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Post by penguy on Nov 16, 2020 3:53:17 GMT
A computer matched up my wife and I before there was such a thing as the internet or apps. We were matched up for a computer dance 56 years ago.
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Post by hoyabella on Nov 16, 2020 6:59:16 GMT
This is why at some point in my correspondence (and in all my relationships, actually), I ask what my friends' love language is - both giving and receiving. That's a great idea! Thank you Michelle and thank you all for the feedback about forwarding tuck-ins. 🙂
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Post by ginny on Nov 16, 2020 8:21:21 GMT
I have heard some good stories about the dating site experience with people end in up being happily married as a result, but I have heard more horror stories than good ones! I can't imagine what it must be like to have this be the primary way of meeting people to date these days. distractedmom , ginny , This thread is amusing me greatly, as mu husband of 14 years and I met on a dating site!! Yes, the whole thing was still relatively new at the time, and I've heard horror stories too, but the dating site leading to email had one huge advantage for me - I found out that he could spell, punctuate, and produce an interesting sentence before I ever heard his voice or set eyes on him. Most important!! I probably wouldn't be hugely attracted by Quasimodo's double, but Robert Redford who couldn't spell wouldn't do it for me either!! Good for you, filpot - and yours is not the only success story I've heard! My sister-in-law's best friend met her husband on a dating site, too, and the same goes for a few of my penfriends. It's a way to meet people you probably wouldn't get to know otherwise, and I think that's great. There are black sheep anywhere, so I certainly don't think dating sites are the antichrist per se.
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Post by Catida on Nov 16, 2020 16:46:05 GMT
A computer matched up my wife and I before there was such a thing as the internet or apps. We were matched up for a computer dance 56 years ago. Computer dance? What's that?
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