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Post by InsomniaQueen on Sept 25, 2020 2:10:21 GMT
I feel like I am gifting my time and care to the recipient. A letter is an expression to another person that they are important. I enjoy the exchange of friendship through writing. It’s different than the relationships I have in person, so it’s like an exploration of a different world that many people miss out on. Yes to all of this! This is exactly why I enjoy it!
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Post by sails on Sept 25, 2020 18:32:11 GMT
I like to play with pen, ink, paper. I like to write. Letters seem a natural way to get it all in.
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Post by mrsduffy on Sept 26, 2020 0:57:36 GMT
To meet new people and to learn what other people are all about. To give me different perspectives on life. Also, sometimes it is cathartic to tell someone something in a way that writing allows you to but talking doesn't. stompie, I like your word “cathartic.” Although I love the give and take of the conversation I think I benefit more from writing my letter than the recipient does in reading it...though I do hope that the recipient will be somehow enriched, even if they only enjoy the tea I enclose.
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Post by filpot on Sept 26, 2020 7:40:06 GMT
I'm not a talker in person but like the slower type of idea exchange that letter writing affords. In face to face exchanges some of my personality/upbringing is detrimental to conversation as I like to make sure you're done with a thought before I respond and I find many others can't seem to have even what I consider a normal pause/lull in the conversation so they blurt out another thought when there's more than a second or two of silence. You can imagine how that goes as I never get in a word edgewise as it is/was considered impolite to talk over someone where I was raised. My phone conversations are usually pretty one sided affairs with my part being an occasional grunt. Even my wife has found text messages elicit a much better response from me as I consider your sending the message to be a complete thought that warrants an answer. I like the idea that letters can wait until I'm ready to answer them at a convenient time as well. You must be an introvert, Gary S . I’m more wired for listening myself and communicate better in writing. Like you I’ve listened to quite a few monologues over the years. Being the mistress of word economy I marvel at those who can speak endlessly neither drawing breath nor requiring a response. I simply have no capacity for it myself but unless a person is overbearing I’m usually a willing audience. I find this very interesting. As any of my penpals would tell you, I am anything but a "mistress of word economy" and burble on for pages and pages. In person I don't do this, and my small talk ability is non-existent. I like having the time to think about what to "talk" (as in write) to someone about to provide them with the maximum interest. I hope! The fact that everything takes longer in writing gives me time to compose and not make the kind of gaffe that I often do when speaking.
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Post by mrsduffy on Sept 26, 2020 14:56:58 GMT
You must be an introvert, Gary S . I’m more wired for listening myself and communicate better in writing. Like you I’ve listened to quite a few monologues over the years. Being the mistress of word economy I marvel at those who can speak endlessly neither drawing breath nor requiring a response. I simply have no capacity for it myself but unless a person is overbearing I’m usually a willing audience. I find this very interesting. As any of my penpals would tell you, I am anything but a "mistress of word economy" and burble on for pages and pages. In person I don't do this, and my small talk ability is non-existent. I like having the time to think about what to "talk" (as in write) to someone about to provide them with the maximum interest. I hope! The fact that everything takes longer in writing gives me time to compose and not make the kind of gaffe that I often do when speaking. Filpot, I’m actually striving to be more of a chatty writer though I doubt I would ever be able to produce the seven page typed missive that some of my pen friends do. In spoken conversation my words sometimes proceed from my mouth as though shaken in a bag before clumsily falling off the tongue. It’s always annoying to raise suspicion of deficiency but that’s my pride speaking. Writing allows time for clarity. Besides, it’s oh so satisfying to feel the wet glide oF pen across paper.
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Post by jamberrychoux on Sept 26, 2020 17:47:02 GMT
I find this topic very interesting. I can be quite good at in-person small talk, but it only works if the other persons you are around are willing to participate in small talk with a stranger. There are actually written books that discuss the fact that verbal conversation is becoming a lost and dying art. So, to me that is interesting, because you keep hearing that written conversation via letters is becoming a lost and dying art. So, if verbal conversations and written conversations are both dying out, what is left? Maybe, I am guessing that it's online communication?
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Post by mrsduffy on Sept 26, 2020 19:14:32 GMT
I find this topic very interesting. I can be quite good at in-person small talk, but it only works if the other persons you are around are willing to participate in small talk with a stranger. There are actually written books that discuss the fact that verbal conversation is becoming a lost and dying art. So, to me that is interesting, because you keep hearing that written conversation via letters is becoming a lost and dying art. So, if verbal conversations and written conversations are both dying out, what is left? Maybe, I am guessing that it's online communication? That’s interesting, jamberrychoux. My immediate thought is that online communication is eroding our ability to communicate well verbally. Social media is effectually anti-social and media reliance impairs the capacity for deep reading, reflection, critical thinking, and even healthy relationships. In my view, both verbal and written conversation naturally lend themselves to strengthening those things. And of course one must always be in conversation with a good book to broaden perspective.
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Post by jamberrychoux on Sept 26, 2020 19:24:23 GMT
I find this topic very interesting. I can be quite good at in-person small talk, but it only works if the other persons you are around are willing to participate in small talk with a stranger. There are actually written books that discuss the fact that verbal conversation is becoming a lost and dying art. So, to me that is interesting, because you keep hearing that written conversation via letters is becoming a lost and dying art. So, if verbal conversations and written conversations are both dying out, what is left? Maybe, I am guessing that it's online communication? That’s interesting, jamberrychoux . My immediate thought is that online communication is eroding our ability to communicate well verbally. Social media is effectually anti-social and media reliance impairs the capacity for deep reading, reflection, critical thinking, and even healthy relationships. In my view, both verbal and written conversation naturally lend themselves to strengthening those things. And of course one must always be in conversation with a good book to broaden perspective. I have read books discussing the exact same thing - that online communication is damaging our ability to communicate well verbally in real time with people - but, strangely, our society has still gone that route, and it seems to be the preferred and prevalent way of communicating with others these days. So, it's all interconnected. One favored way of communicating will have a negative impact, or at least alter our feelings and perceptions and levels of comfort with the other forms of communication.
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Post by doultonmyra on Sept 26, 2020 20:46:42 GMT
WARNING: Long fantasy follows.
When I was a child, I dreamed of writing letters. My mother used to get them (back in the days when long-distance telephone calls were prohibitively costly) and she would occasionally read snippets of news and information from them to me. I was eager to enter other worlds and did it through books, the newspapers, and writing. I spent years planning my first letter and dreamed that I would, one day, write to a girl named Cathy. Cathy was my own fiction. But Cathy and I would write letters describing our lives and our families. I used to have an entire collection of letters to Cathy that started with large print and then were refined to a sort of cursive. While other children longed for state fairs and candy corn, I longed for somebody to whom I could write. "Dear Cathy, I hope you get a brithday cakee" I would write.
My "pretend" Cathy and I were equally interested in each other; equally responsible for maintaining the correspondence, and were forgiving of our mutual dislike for the way "Q" was taught in cursive. Neither Cathy nor I were called on to erase the black board at school.
Cathy was my projection, of course, of an ideal pen pal and I've been hunting for a "Cathy" ever since. I've been lucky enough to find a Cathy or two. I used to write to my Aunt Harriet and when she approached her 90th birthday she sent the letters back to me. I was amazed that I would write 6 - 8 pages describing my life, each of my siblings, and asking her questions about her children and her readings, etc. They were real conversations. I wrote her 10 pages thanking her for a $5 bill.
I am introverted. Deeply. Telephone calls are painful; emails are a chore.
It's only writing to my "Cathy" du jour that intrigues me. It takes a while for a pen pal to become a Cathy and I hope to be a "Cathy" for somebody else. It may take years of a letter exchange to reach the "Cathy" stage of mutual comprehension. My "Cathy" now is probably an elderly cat lady who likes to read Norman Lebrecht.
I've always lived by fantasy but have kept one foot in the real world.
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Post by mrsduffy on Sept 26, 2020 22:28:51 GMT
I've always lived by fantasy but have kept one foot in the real world. doultonmyra, I too live in my own little world, but it's pleasant here. I really, really, enjoyed your "Cathy Story." May there always be a Cathy in your mailbox. I think we all long for one.
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Post by jamberrychoux on Sept 26, 2020 23:36:21 GMT
mrsduffy said: I too live in my own little world... That's actually what my husband says to me all the time! Well, what he means is that I may not see or am aware of things that are happening right in front of me because there are all these intense thoughts just swirling around in my head all of the time.
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Post by emeraldscribbles on Sept 27, 2020 13:40:58 GMT
I had penpals as a kid because I thought it was exciting to "meet" people from around the world...and that still rings true today. I love hearing from people from all across the globe, learning their customs and local history. I've always been a writer; it helps clear my mind. I used to keep journals but haven't in several years, but my letters serve as a journal of sorts, since I talk about any and everything. I also love office supplies, so pens and papers are right up my alley. And of course, it's always more fun to receive letters vs. bills in the mail
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